The Last Sacrifice Saving you
by AwesomeAssassin
Summary: Sequel 2 THEIR CHOICE! Rose and Dimitri are where they want to be. For now. But after going to a strangely familiar scene, they are stuck with what they've got. What will happen after Dimitri's proposal? Who will be saved? Who will die? R&R! R/D L/C 3
1. Chapter 1

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

I shot up out of bed, but I couldn't catch myself in time. I rolled over quicker than I thought I ever could, off the bed, landing on the ground with a hard thud. I groaned and laid there for a moment. Right now, all I wanted to do was sleep, but apparently, my alarm clock thought otherwise.

I pulled myself up by my hands, my legs not working yet, holding onto my bedside table knob. I slammed my hand down on the clock groggily, cringing when I heard a series of snaps coming from within the clock. I didn't think that the court would be providing my sixth alarm clock this week, for some reason.

I pulled myself up fully and rubbed my eyes. Five thirty in the morning was not a very good time for me.

I dragged myself into the shower, feeling instant relief from drowsiness when the hot water pierced my back.

Oksana, Olena, Viktoria, Sonya and Alicia went home yesterday. I cried when they left for the plane, much to Dimitri's amusement, though I could tell that he liked that I cared so much about his family.

I still hadn't given Dimitri an answer to his question. As soon as I had comprehended what he meant by asking me to marry him, I was pulled away by my familiar paramedics to do _another_ check up on me. I assured them in my daze that it would hopefully be the last time I would ever have a spirit related severe head ache, but they were still insistent on making sure I was okay by medical standards.

I was back on duty in no time, but that meant getting up at this time to get outside and look for Strigoi, as if they could get through the hundreds of wards that were set around the court. But still, I knew it was possible, by experience, for Humans to work with Strigoi and get them in.

I slid out of the shower and instantly press the towel to my face before cold drips of water made me cold again. I changed into my guardian outfit, one of my favourite outfits.

There was a quick knock at my door as soon as I emerged from the bathroom, still towel drying my hair. I looked through the keyhole before opening the door.

"Liss? What's going on?" I asked. "What the hell are you doing up at this time?"

She pushed past me gently to stand in the middle of the room.

"Please, come in." I joked as I closed the door.

Lissa smiled at me. "Still grumpy? Or have you had your happy pills?" she asked.

I stuck my tongue out at her and went back into the bathroom, grabbed my hairbrush, and came back out, brushing my hair.

"What's going on?"

She dug in her pocket for a moment, and then pulled out a crumpled piece of paper, opening it slowly.

"I was hoping to catch you before you went on duty…" she started, then handed me the paper.

I looked at the page. She had photocopied a small section off the bottom of a guardian schedule. Each of these schedules lasted two weeks before it was changed.

_Thompson, Larry – All week, 3.30am – 9.00pm_

_Belikov, Dimitri – (Mon-Fri) 9.00am – 10.00pm (Sat-Sun) OFF_

_Hathaway, Rosemarie – (Tues-Saturday) 6.30am – 11.30pm (Sun-Mon) OFF_

I looked at Lissa. "I know my schedule," I said slowly. "Thanks for bringing it round, anyway."

She sighed impatiently and snatched the paper from my hands. "You and Dimitri have Sunday off together."

She looked at me like I was missing something obvious.

"Yeah…." I trailed off.

She sighed again. "Do you know what Sunday is?"

My eyes flashed to my calendar and back, but in my brief glance, I saw nothing obvious written down for Sunday.

"Yes," I lied.

She raised an eyebrow. "Really? Tell me, then."

I stumbled and muttered. "Happy….Birth-Christ-Easter?"

She smiled, but kept her 'serious' face. "Dimitri's birthday?"

"That's what I said." I told her.

She laughed. "Of course you did."

I rolled my eyes, but then something caught me. "Dimitri's birthday? Really? He…he never told me."

"I only found out cause Olena told me. She's so nice."

"Yeah she is." I agreed. "Is there a reason you brought it up? You know he would have told me if he wanted to make a big deal out of it. And besides, I doubt any Moroi would want too."

She cleared her throat.

"Except you. And maybe Adrian. And Christian would just be dragged along…"

She rolled her eyes. "Dimitri is one of the best guardians we have. Celebrating his birthday is the least we can do for him."

I gathered my hair in my hands at the back of my head and slid a hair tie over the bundle.

"Unless he didn't want you to make a big deal out of it, in which case you would be torturing him." I noted thoughtfully, running what I had said through my head a second time to make sure it made sense.

She smiled. "He'd forgive me."

"Cause that's what matters." I said sarcastically as I collapsed on my bed to do up my shoes.

"Rose." She warned. "Olena gave me permission, so don't be going all negative. You've never let me celebrate your birthday. I couldn't try in secret cause you will always know. Let me do it, just this once!"

I sighed in defeat. It was almost impossible to deny her. "Fine. Whatever. But I don't want to be held responsible."

She smiled. "Thanks, but there is a reason why I'm telling you this." She said.

I looked up at her. "I can't just be on the guest list?"

She shook her head. "Nope. We need someone who knows Dimitri really well. I bet there is no one closer to him than you right now."

"What about his own mother?"

"She's across the country. I don't know why she didn't stay for his birthday."

I shrugged.

"But anyway, we need your help. You have inside access to him." She paused.

"Really? You couldn't have phrased that any better?" I asked sarcastically.

"Sorry, but, no-" She shook her head. "Look, we need you for this party we're throwing for him. What would be his type of party? How could you distract him before the party, then lead him there in a totally awesome way? Or a Rose way, maybe?"

"Okay, first thing's first. A totally awesome way _is_ a Rose way." I clarified.

She laughed as I continued. "You might want to go for…western. Cowboys and stuff…but not in a way that looks too real, with, you know, people bashing each other and making out. Replace that with music that revolves around the whole idea, maybe.

"And I'll work on the plan."

She cracked a smile. "Western?"

I shrugged. "It's his thing."

I looked at the clock. I had five minuted before I had to leave. Lissa watched me, and then looked at the clock too.

"You have to go?" she asked.

I nodded. I would walk slowly.

She was grinning from ear to ear. "Thank you so much! It'll be awesome! You'll see!"

I rolled my eyes. "You really think you can do it in five days?"

She cracked a smile. "Watch me."

***Interval***

I walked around the corridors for a full two and a half hours before Dimitri's shift even started. I didn't see him for three hours after that, and that was only a glimpse in the window. He was walking around outside. I doubted he saw me.

Though as I was walking around near the front office, I was approached from behind. I turned around quickly and saw Adrian grinning at me.

"It's super hard to catch you by surprise nowadays." He noted.

"Part of the job description."

"I suppose." He said. "Would have been nice to do something different around here, don't you think. I know it was dangerous and life threatening and whatever before but…it's boring now. There's nothing to do!"

I rolled my eyes.

"You have lost all sense of humour, rose. Lighten up, would ya? Nothing's gonna attacked ya here."

"Also standing around forever waiting for something to wrong…that's part of the job description. Literally. When on duty, thou shall not have fun."

He laughed. "Apparently. Walk with me?"

I did as he instructed, not taking it as 'fun', but as an order from a royal. If I was caught gasbagging with Adrian it would not be good for me, no matter what the danger risk was.

"How is Denis?" I asked.

"Good. He loves it here, and he loves that he has a home, has a family. He's super happy."

"That's good."

"Caring?"

I looked at him sideways. "He's Lissa's brother and a good friend of mine. Of course I care."

"But not like you care for me?" he asked lightly.

I punched his arm softly.

"Did you talk to Lissa?" he asked.

I nodded. "Came in my room this morning."

"And your okay with Lissa letting out her…artistic skills?"

I laughed. "Jealous?"

He shook his head. "No. Definitely not."

"She'll do a good job."

He half smiled. "Oh, I know that."

**HEY!**

**Ready for the awesomeness that is the next instalment in the Last Sacrifice series by Lauren Edwards? I think you are!**

**For those of you who have gone to this book before going to **_**The Last Sacrifice – Their choice**_**, I advise you to read the last book, but it's a free country I guess.**

**Anyway! I will not, I repeat, will not be posting on Wednesday night and Thursday night. On those nights I am dressing up in a moustache and turban and acting as an Indian Edward Cullen. Yes, you read right. **

**I am involved in my school's talent show on both those nights. One dance, and one act. Should be fun. Hell nervous though.**

**A bit about my act? Just because I love it so dearly.**

**An Indian vampire named Edward Cullen comes to school one day and realises that he loves the dunce of the class, Bella Swan. She can not get a sentence out without twirling her hair around her hair, and saying like so many times she looses her train of thought. We also mixed in the line "Why do you look like cedric diggory off harry potter" when OMG, A geeky harry potter runs across the stage.**

**Edward then trips over with Bella on his back in the forest. Then an even geekier James and Laurent step in and try to kill her. Then there is this big fight scene with Voldemort and Harry where Harry gives voldemort a wedgie…**

**And they live happily ever after.**

**Feel my pain? I also broke my foot :( But it's all better now! :)**

**So yes, get ready for awesomeness!**

**Lauren :)**


	2. The party

Lissa and I could hardly keep back the giggles as we ducked around the last corner on our way to Dimitri's room. Lissa looked so adorable in her red, corset dress. Her make-up was in the middle between trashy and neat, the style from back in the old western.

"You remember the plan?" I whispered. Naturally, I had made up the plan so Dimitri would feel slightly embarrassed, but he still got some fort of clue.

She nodded. She had to bite her thumb to keep from giggling.

I looked at my wrist dramatically, like I was counting down on a watch. I looked at her with a smile and stuck each of my fingers, counting to three, before ducking around the last corner and opening Dimitri's door as quietly as possibly.

I had no shoes on, so it was easy to climb up next to him in the bed and kiss his cheek. His lips twitched into a small smile. I kissed the side of his mouth next, and then leaned away from him.

"Hello," I whispered with a smile.

He mumbled something inaudible.

I laughed softly. "Sorry to wake you up."

Suddenly, I was pulled over the top of Dimitri so I was lying face to face with him, his arms wrapped around my waist.

"This is the best way I have ever been woken up." He mumbled into my ear, his lips brushing over them slightly.

"You'd better hope so," I warned.

He laughed softly. "And now the question rests…What's the occasion?"

I frowned slightly. "You mean you really don't know?"

Realisation hit his eyes. "How did you-"

"Long story." I interrupted. "Happy birthday."

I kissed his nose.

He smiled again.

I let him sit up.

Something seemed to catch him. "Why are you up so early, anyway?"

I hesitated briefly. "I couldn't sleep."

He checked the clock. "It's eight at night. Did you even try to go to bed?"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. I wanted to catch you before you dozed off too much."

He rubbed my arm before kissing the side of my lips. I turned my head a little more so he was kissing me. His hands slid down my body, and my hands slid up his. His shirt was on the ground before I knew it, and we dragged ourselves from the bed with a slight lead from me.

I pulled away from his lips.

"Don't start something you can't finish." I told him.

He did a sort of half pout.

"Go take a shower," I told him. "I can tell you haven't had one yet. You look like you need one."

"Thanks."

I sighed. "Not what I meant."

His arms wrapped around me. "And what about my birthday present?"

I laughed. "You'll get it eventually. Go take a shower while I help Liss with something, then I will come back and give you you're pressie."

He smiled and hugged me close. I rested my head on his chest.

"Sooner rather than later." He corrected.

I smiled. "Okay. But go! Go take a shower."

He kissed the edge of my lips.

"Go." I instructed.

One last, quick kiss, and then he disappeared through the door.

I sighed. "Men."

There was a slight chuckle from within the bathroom. The water started running.

I ran over to the door as quietly as I could and signalled for Lissa. She ran up quietly and closed the door behind her, carrying a plastic bag.

Quickly, we opened his closets and shoved all his clothes into the bag.

"Took you long enough." She whispered furiously.

I rolled my eyes.

It took us a total of one minute to get all his clothes in the bag. We shoved it under his bed and grabbed out the outfit I had stuffed in there yesterday and laid it on the bed.

We ran out and closed the door loud enough so Dimitri could hear me 'leave'.

I ran into my room while Lissa stayed behind to lure Dimitri into the great hall.

I changed into my costume in my room before I ran over to the hall where a bar and hay was set up, making it look very western. Lissa included a little bit of country into the theme, too, with the hay cubes to sit on. It looked amazingly like what I'd imagined a western bar to look like.

I ran through the crowd, squeezing through couples talking and dancing. When I reached the middle somewhere, I tried to blend in, finding Adrian chatting up one of the dancers.

"Not to sound like Mia or anything," I cut in, looking at Adrian with an eyebrow raised. "But…_Another_ girl?"

The girl opened her mouth in disgust, slapped him, and walked away. Adrian rubbed his cheek as he turned to me, glaring at me.

"What was that for?"

I shrugged. "I didn't see anyone get slapped today. It's a necessity when it comes to my happiness."

He rolled his eyes. "My pain?"

"naturally."

He sighed. "Has Lissa…"

"Already underway. Should be here any minute." I told him. "Why?"

"Fire boy over there is getting etchy. Afraid Dimitri will attack her or something."

I looked over to the edge of the room where Adrian was pointing at Christian, picking at his arms as he watched the front door.

"He shouldn't worry about that. We sketched it out perfectly. Full of short cuts that aren't visible to anyone but her."

He sighed. "I hope your right, cause your head will be incinerated it she is harmed."

"Caring?" I asked with a smile.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Teasing?"

I laughed.

Lissa slipped between us, grabbing my hand and pulling me along with her as she ran. It was hard to run all the way to the back of the hall in heels, but it was nothing I had ever had to do before.

When we reached the back wall, she spun around to face me and pushed her hair off her face. "He runs fast!" she puffed.

I giggled. "Maybe I should have run from him."

She raised an eyebrow. "And you wanted me to-"

"Never mind."

She laughed.

"Where is he?"

She dragged me along to the back corner of the room so I could visibly see the front door, where a cowboy dressed Dimitri was looking around, his face with mixed emotions as he realised what was going on.

I covered my mouth and bended at the hip in laughter.

"He looks….wow. Cowboy suits him." I told her.

She was laughing too.

She pushed my back up to him after our fit of giggles.

When he saw us, he smiled and shook his head.

"Should have known you two were responsible for this." He said. He looked to Lissa. "You can run fast."

"Short cuts." She said shortly.

Dimitri then understood.

He grabbed me around the waist and kissed my hair. Lissa smiled and winked at me before disappearing into the crowd.

"You tricked me."

I smiled. "Yep."

He kissed my cheek. "I'm not sure if I can trust you anymore," he noted.

I laughed. "Hmm…Well if you don't trust me…You won't get your birthday present."

"You're forgiven." He said quickly.

I laughed again and turned to him in his arms. I kissed his nose before taking his lips.

"Come on, Cowboy, you have other people to talk to. It's the reason they're here."

"I love you, Roza." He whispered in my ear.

"So you don't mind the party?"

"Oh no, I mind the party." He corrected. "But you're still forgiven. But…"

"But?"

"You're gonna have to give me my clothes back."

I straightened up his collar and smiled. "In the morning."

"rose…" he warned.

"Or you can play hide and seek with them. A clue? They're hiding."

I was lifted off the ground and spun around in a circle before being put down.

"Hey! I don't like being lifted."

"My clothes?"

"Are in a black bag." I told him. "Under your bed."

He winked at me, and then was pulled into the crowd by someone. I looked between a couple talking to see that Tasha was here, and now was talking to him, hugging him. I was surprised at my jealousy, knowing that there was nothing going on with them, but previous theories with them had sparked up again inside of me. I waved it away, though, and went over to the bar to get a drink.

"Just a water, thanks." I asked the guardian who was playing the bartender for this evening.

He nodded and walked away, returning a moment later with a glass of the clear liquid.

The party lasted quite a while, with people dancing and laughing at their ridiculous outfits. I watched Christian and Lissa twirl on the dance floor, and, surprisingly, Denis and Mia. After the song, Denis saw me, then hurried up to me and sat on the stool next to mine.

"Lonely?"

"A little." I admitted.

"Where's Romeo?"

I laughed. "Mingling, like he should."

"So you don't care that he's out there dancing with Tasha?"

I controlled my face before he could notice any changes, hopefully. "Nah. I'm not so controlling, you know. He and Tasha have been friends a really long time."

"So you're here, drinking your fourth glass of water?" he asked. "Don't you really have to pee?"

I looked at him and sighed. "I can take care of myself, Denis."

"I'm just making sure you have nothing better to do." He said innocently.

"Nothing better to do? Than what?"

He licked his lips quickly, moistening them. "I have a small job that needs to be done right away, but everyone's having such a good time…I was thinking that you and Dimitri could go, because it's the type of thing you're good at. I know it's your day off, and I'm sorry, but you won't have to do anything too drastic. Just make sure everything is alright then come home."

"What type of job?" I asked curiously.

He was on the instant defence. "Like I said, it's nothing too drastic, but we haven't heard from the Conta family in three days. We just want you and Dimitri to go make sure everything is alright."

"So why send us?"

"Because you know how to handle different situations, Rose. I've heard a lot about your high school experiences, with the Badica house and all…We don't know what's happening here, but one way or another, it will need to be dealt with and not left alone. If everything is alright, we may need to talk to the guardians on charge…and besides; you're so charming and loving when you want to be."

I frowned. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Trust me, Roza, it can come in handy in the strangest places."

I sighed. "And you want us to go now?"

He looked out the highest window of the hall for a moment. "I want you to get ready to leave fairly soon. You two won't be going anywhere in the night, especially you."

I nodded. "Okay, I'm in. Have you asked Dimitri?"

He nodded. "Tasha is asking him this very minute."

"Sure."

"Thank you, Roza."

I saluted him. "no problem."

"No, I don't just mean for this. You've done me so many other great favours, even showing me who I really am…I felt I didn't get to thank you properly for before. You know, when you fell off the cliff and all."

"I jumped, Denis."

He waved it away. "Whatever."

"Well I'm glad I helped, Denis."

He smiled. "Come on. I'll help you set up the car. Dimitri will find you,. He always does. You don't have to drive far, but consider tomorrow a work day, and I'll give you an extra day off."

I shook his hand. "Done."

**Hey guys!**

**Okay so talent night was AMAZING! Twihard won an award for both nights which I am totally thrilled about. This URL is my facebook if you guys want to become my friend and be sure to check out the photos of the talent night! I have my costumes (indian Edward cullen). I am definitely loving the red lips for my dances :)**

**.com/#!/Lozza9696**

**So check me out and be sure to add me as a friend and talk to me! PM me! Or if I'm online chat with me! I would love to talk to you guys :) Check out photos! My indian costume is so cool! But im so glad I don't have to wear it anymore!**

**Sorry about not getting this out fast enough. I got to bed at 1am the first night, since I was winding down after all the spazness. And I was a zombie for school the next day, followed by three energy drinks for the second night. Friday I actually slept in class and finally I slept in till twelve this morning. **

**It was so heckic! I loved it!**

**Will be quicker with the next chappie,**

**I promise!**

**Lauren! **

**(add me on FB! Haha!)**


	3. De Ja vu

The sun was only barely coming up when Dimitri knocked on my door and told me it was time to go. He seemed concerned, but at the same time, anxious, to go. This was the first real test, despite my guts telling me, that Victor Dashkov had 'moved on'. If it were up to Dimitri, though, he wouldn't let me out again. Twice he has had to worry about me as I was taken to the infirmary. _Twice._

But I was definite I could go outside the wards now. I put on my confident face as we drove away from Denis, waving. He stopped short of the gates so they could open for us.

"Rose…" he trailed.

"I'm going to be fine, Dimitri. Relax, would ya?" I assured him.

"How can you know?"

"Because…I…err…Look, I just…know. Okay? Trust me."

"You better hope you're right," he said through his teeth.

I placed my hand over his, which was resting on the gear stick.

"Relax." I said softly.

He started to ease up his muscles, but the gates were finally opened, and he tensed again. I sighed and rested my head back on the seat, taking my hand back.

"You're over reacting." I sung quietly.

He seemed to growl.

He drove slowly, his hand itching towards the reverse gear, keeping one eye on me.

I sighed impatiently, but let him carry on with his unnecessary, but kind of sweet, attempts to save me.

I suddenly had the most perfect idea in the history of perfect ideas.

I tensed up dramatically, and the car slammed to a halt.

I couldn't hold my fake pain any longer than a couple of seconds. I turned to him.

"Got'cha."

This earned me a disapproving look from him. "That wasn't funny."

He started up the car again, and he drove confidently away from the Court.

"Sure it was. You should have seen it from my point of view."

He growled.

"Next time, listen to me when I 'know' things, and that won't happen." I told him sweetly.

"Next time…Don't scare the life out of me."

I laughed. "How many times must I scare the invincible Dimitri Belikov until he finally expects it?" I asked rhetorically.

Dimitri slammed his foot on the break, the car coming to a screaming halt in the middle of the road, sending us flying towards the windscreen.

"What the hell?"

He smirked. "How many times must I slam my foot on the break before the famous Rosemarie Hathaway learns not to tease the driver whilst moving?"

I rolled my eyes and sunk into my chair.

The car drive was long, almost three hours. Dimitri and I had a big argument over the radio station, just like last time, except this time, we settled on a compromise. I got to choose the radio station going there, and him back.

I fell asleep for about an hour, though, so Dimitri had changed it to his station in that time. A strong jolt on the road woke me up.

"Are we there yet?" I groaned like a ten year old kid. I rubbed my eyes sleepily.

Dimitri smiled. "Give it another ten more minutes." He told me. He started to change the station back over to mine, but I waved his hand away.

"I'm not listening to it anyway."

I closed my eyes for that ten minutes and leaned back on the head rest. I slipped into Lissa's head, something I hadn't had to do for a while.

She was cleaning up the last of the party with Christian, Mia, and a few other volunteers. Adrian was there, too, but he wasn't doing much besides drinking, smoking, and making more mess to clean up.

"Where do you think Tasha is now?" Christian asked Lissa.

She shrugged. "I wouldn't have a clue. Why?"

He stumbled. "She was going to…help me…with something."

Lissa frowned, scanning Christian's weird attitude. "What she helping you with?"

"Just…stuff. You don't need to worry about it."

She dismissed his suspicious behaviour. "Okay, sure. Why don't you go now. I'm pretty good to finish the rest of this up."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I only have Adrian's mess to take care of," she said. "But that might take five years."

Adrian smirked. "Live large or don't live at all."

"I thought that was "Get drunk or don't drink at all.""

Adrian grinned. "It's both."

Lissa rolled her eyes. "He'll help me." She said to Christian, pointing at Adrian.

Christian nodded and kissed her on the cheek quickly before disappearing out the door.

Lissa stared after him, shaking her head in disbelief. "Guys!"

Adrian was at her side, even though she didn't see him walk up to her. "Diva-ish men. I try to avoid them."

"What do you think he is up to?" she asked. "I mean, its not the weirdest thing to want to hang out with his aunt…but right now? I know she's leaving tomorrow, but…"

"It's just not like him?" Adrian suggested.

She nodded.

Adrian coughed. "Well, maybe I might need to do some snooping…"

Without seeing it, I reached inside my pocket and pulled out my phone. I was a pretty good texter, and I was used to my phone, so I didn't need to have sight to know what I was writing.

After I hit send, it was three seconds before Adrian's phone vibrated in his pocket and he brang it out.

He held it neatly in the palm of his hand and read out loud.

"Leave the poor boy alone, love Rose."

He frowned.

Lissa's mood instantly went up.

"Hey Rose!"

I texted Adrian again, not bothering to change the recipient.

"Hey Lissa." Adrian read out.

Lissa giggled. "this is so cool! Never been able to do this before."

"you mean you haven't tried this? Texting while she's in your head?" Adrian asked.

She shrugged. "We never really had time for things like this. We had quite a hectic life style that we just couldn't." she said. "Hey Rose! Are you there yet? Is everything okay? How's Dimitri?"

My text took a little longer than usual, but sure enough, Adrian was vibrating again.

"Almost there. All is well. Dimitri is happy with his oldies radio station." Adrian laughed. "Man she is a good texter."

His phone beeped again.

"Why thank you." He said with a laugh, reading my text again out loud.

His phone vibrated again, but it was not from me. He read it in his head, then looked at Lissa.

"That was Dimitri, Rose. You're there, apparently. Get out!"

I was slapped like an elastic band back in my head. I breathed out then smiled, pleased with myself. I turned my head to look at Dimitri. "You could have just shaken me or something, you know that, right?"

He shrugged. "I wanted to be sure it wasn't like waking a sleep walker."

I rolled my eyes and tugged at my car door.

"I'm a little less breakable than that." I told him.

He was frozen. I remembered that look.

"no," I whispered, looking with him at the house. "Not again."

He nodded. "Roza-"

I was beside him in an instant, my stake already in hand. My nausea was spreading through my head. "There is no way in hell I am staying in the car. There's…one in there. I can't be sure where though."

He pushed my behind him. "What the hell is it doing in the day time?" he whispered.

I shrugged and walked past him, feeling strangely confident as I walked up to the front door and just pushed it open without taking precautions.

Dimitri rushed to keep up with me and hold me back.

"It's not behind this door or the next, Dimitri," I told him. "I _know_."

He heard my tone and followed me, his eyes peeling each corner of the room, ready to pounce. Me, on the other hand, swept through the house carelessly, opening each door casually and looking into it, before deciding there was nothing in there, and closing it again.

Until I came across the bathroom door.

Nausea swept through me again, more intense this time. I looked back at the ever so quiet Dimitri, nodded to him, clutched my stake, and then opened the door slowly.

Dimitri stepped past me, always keeping in front of me.

The bathroom was large, but not large enough to really hide anywhere except under the cabinet.

We stepped into the middle of the room before the final sweep took over me, and I knew exactly where she was hiding.

I spun around quickly, slashing my stake in front of me, barely missing the Strigoi that had been sticking the corner above the door, like some sick, horror movie.

Dimitri jumped into immediate action, shoving me a little to get in between the monster and me.

She did not try to attack me after that. She sat in her corner, bearing her teeth at us, but she did not leap at us. She did not, how ever, cut back on the threats.

"I will kill you. Watch me kill you."

I stepped forward. "I don't think you will." I told her. "You would have tried already."

"I'll kill you. I'll kill you like them."

I looked at her. "Like who?"

She swallowed. "Yummy Moroi. Didn't stand a chance for us."

She had killed someone. But I hadn't seen anyone…

"Who? WHO DID YOU KILL!" I shouted at her.

She let back a high pitched wail in the same tone as my voice. "Too smart. Too easy. I will kill you like them."

"You didn't kill anyone." I saw her bluff. "That's why you're still here, isn't it? You couldn't kill the Moroi, and your little buddies left you here to get burned and to be found."

"I did kill! I kill! I kill you! My friends!"

"Not much of a friend if they left you here to die." I noted.

She growled like a feral. She picked up things from the counter and threw them at random points of the room. Dimitri and I ducked out of the way, squishing into a corner of the room.

"We need to finish this." I told him.

He nodded.

"They haven't found the miracle that will be easy for Guardian's to stab Strigoi so they become guardians yet?" I asked.

He shook his head. "They're working hard."

"Not hard enough." I mumbled, then stood up, having to dodge a deadly toothbrush that was heading my way.

I walked over to her, where she was now, again, cowering in the corner, hissing and growling at me as I approached.

"What's your name?" I asked.

She growled and stood up. "None of your business."

"Well, then, none of your business, remember this."

I walked up to her and stabbed her chest, simple to do because she was so shocked at the sudden closeness that she didn't have time to react.

"My name is Rose Hathaway. I killed you. I set you free."

There was an ear piercing shriek, but it died as she did. Her soulless body collapsed on the floor.

"Such a waste." I mumbled, kneeling down next to her to close her blank, yet frightened eyes.

Dimitri placed a hand on my back. "Worth it. In the long run."

I nodded and stood up. "Where's the family?"

Dimitri smiled sadly. "They didn't flea. Two cars are here."

"But we searched…" I sighed. "We'll split up. There's no one else here."

He nodded and we agreed on our boundaries. I would take the outside of the house, and him the inside. We kept in touch, just in case my senses were faulty, by a radio that I stuffed into my jacket.

It was extremely cold outside.

I started outside the front door, feeling depressed as I knew I wasn't looking for survivors. I wasn't even looking for anyone. Just soulless bodies. Corpses.

I walked around the side of the house, looking down to find the familiar stake sticking out of the ground. I left it there, though I kicked it, angry. Without this particular stake, this would never have happened.

I sighed and kept moving, finding nothing but wet, cold ground.

But as I pasted the shed, I heard a whimper.

All my senses perked up as I listened for more, but nothing came.

I walked over to the door of the shed and wrenched it open. Well, tried too. It was locked from the inside.

There was a small cry from inside.

"Hello?" I asked softly. "Please, open the door. My name is Guardian Rose Hathaway. I will not hurt you. I'm here to help."

"Go away!"

That was a small girl's voice. There was a survivor. A light sparked inside of me.

"Please open the door. I want to help. Please."

There was a hesitation. "I can't leave him…" she whimpered.

There was another person.

"Who? Who is in there? Is he hurt?"

She sniffled. "No. I can't leave him. Not for a second."

I thought quickly. "Okay, Hun, I'm going to break down the door, okay? I'm going to help you. Don't get scared. It's just me."

She sniffled again. "okay." She said so softly I couldn't be sure I heard her correctly.

Luckily, there was an axe hanging next to a pile of wood next door to the shed. I smacked the hinges of the door with the axe until it banged open. I immediately dropped the axe, knowing that if I walked in there with it, it would scare the little girl.

"Rose? Are you okay?"

I pressed the button on the radio. "Yes. I found two alive. A little girl," I took a look at her, huddled in the corner, clutching….a baby. "And a baby."

"Where are you, Rose?" Dimitri asked.

"The shed."

"no!" the little girl shouted. "No one else! They'll hurt us!"

I bent down in front of her, kneeling on one knee.

"What's you name?" I asked.

She sniffled. "No one else."

I sighed. "Fine, no one else."

Dimitri was hearing this whole conversation.

"You must be freezing." I told her, shrugging off my jacket and draping it around her shoulders. I then took off my jumper and offered to wrap it around the baby, but she snatched it away.

"No. No one touches him."

"Please. I need to make sure he's warm enough." I begged. "I will keep him safe, I promise."

A tear leaked from her eye. I sat next to her and she snuggled up close to me, hugging the jacket around her. She handed me the baby and I wrapped the jumper around him before snuggling with him too, so they were both warm.

But I was now in a white t-shirt.

I rubbed her arms to try to warm her with friction.

"What's your name?" I asked softly.

She was crying into my side. "Sophia. And…that's Simon."

"Sophia." I told her. "My boyfriend, Dimitri, he wants to help too. He's safe. He can be trusted."

Dimitri was still listening to this. My button was still down on the trigger.

"He will get some help for you two, but I think that we should take you back to the court to get warm and to make sure you are alright."

She sniffled again. "I can't trust anyone but you."

"You don't have to trust him for now, but you have to be able to trust me enough to know that you won't ever meet anyone who wants to hurt you while I'm around. Okay?"

she nodded.

I pulled out my radio. "Call for help if you haven't already done so. I think we should get these two out of here before anyone else comes to stop any over loads. You think we can drive them back while the rest investigates?"

"I have called already. That's exactly what they told us to do."

"Great. Warm up the car."

**Go the long chapter! Almost three thousand words!**

**Okay, so….did you love it? Hate it? Tell me! I love getting reviews remember! There has been a shortage on them lately….sad :(**

**Anyway! R&R!**

**Lauren**


	4. Trusting

Sophia hugged my waist as we walked around the back of the shed, towards the car. Dimitri was standing outside of the car with it running, the heater blasting inside. I carried the baby with one hand and kept the other hand on Sophia's back as we walked. She held on tighter to my waist when she saw Dimitri, but stroking her back relaxed her.

A tiny bit.

And I didn't judge her on that. Truth be told, if I was seven and I had just been through all that…I would be scared of anyone I didn't know too.

I admired her. Through all this, she still checked every five to ten seconds that Simon was still in my arms, still breathing, still close to her. She was so young, and already protecting someone she loved.

It made me wonder insanely about what had gone down in that house last night.

What had she done? Had she been instructed to run? Did she try to save her parents?

As soon as I buckled Sophia inside the car and handed her the baby, I closed the door softy and turned to Dimitri.

"Have you-"

"I found two inside, both without pulses." He told me, refusing to say 'dead' in case Sophia was listening from within the car. "I'm not quite sure how many are in the family…"

I turned around and opened the door as quietly and as slowly as I could, just in case I scared her.

"Sophia?" I whispered.

She looked at me. "Rose?"

"Do you know how many people are in your family?" I asked.

She ticked them off on her fingers. "Mummy, daddy, Simon and me."

I nodded. "Thank you."

I closed the door again.

Dimitri nodded. "I called for back up. They'll be here in about a half an hour."

I hugged myself. "It feels wrong to leave this house like this."

Dimitri shrugged off his jacket and placed it over my shoulders and hugged me from behind, rubbing my shoulder for warmth.

"We have too. It's not going to go anywhere, and they'll be here soon."

I nodded. "I guess. C'mon. We should probably get these guys out of here."

He nodded and kissed my cheek before walking around the other side of the car and slipping in the front seat. I hopped in the backseat, taking Simon in my arms again after I clicked my seatbelt into place. Sophia snuggled in next to me for warmth and I put my arm around her as best I could while holding the baby.

Sophia and Simon soon fell asleep, about half an hour after we left.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" I whispered to Dimitri. The radio hadn't been turned on for the whole ride.

I saw Dimitri half smile, sadly, in the rear view mirror.

"I think, as long as they have someone standing up for what's best for them, they'll be fine."

"Can you promise me that?"

He looked into the mirror, starring in my reflected eyes, for a brief second before returning them to the road.

"I can't promise anything, Rose, but you have a voice, remember. So long as you fight, you stay with them…you can control what happens from here on."

"What do you think they want to do with them? They're royalty…"

He shrugged. "Everyone is different, and I'm not sure whose say it is. Adrian has taken Tatiana's place, but he isn't king. There may not be a king or queen for a long while. I might have been able to tell you if I knew who would vote for them, but I'm sorry. I can't."

I sighed and hugged Sophia closer to me. I stroked her soft hair gently.

Dimitri got a call twenty minutes away from the Court. I took it, since we were in a busy part of town where cops would be prowling. We really didn't want to be pulled over, especially with me carrying a baby in my arms and all.

"Rose." Denis' voice echoed through the phone.

I was whispering. "Yes, I can call this a work day."

There was no laugh. "You can. I am sorry about that. We didn't think-"

"That's alright. I'm glad I could help."

"The children are there with you?"

"Yes."

"Sophia and Simon Conta?"

"Yep."

"Okay, well we have made arrangements for them, Rose, so you don't need to worry about them."

I paused. "What are they? How did you know-?"

"Lissa is helping. She knew you would be freaking out."

"I am not freaking out!" I said a little louder than I should have. I calmed my volume before speaking again. "I just…"

"Yes, yes, Roza. Relax, would you?"

"Why isn't Lissa ever the one giving instructions, anyway? Seems like nowadays its all you."

"She does post ideas and her opinion…but she's just too…adorable? Is that the right word? No one takes her seriously enough, or that's what she reckons. She's got me on the case."

Fair point. "Okay, so what about this plan for them?"

"I'm sorry, Roza, but I'm going to have to talk to you when you're here. I have to go."

"'Kay. Talk to you in…fifteen minutes."

The line was cut off.

I put the phone beside me and hugged Sophia again. She twisted and hugged me closer in her sleep.

"Poor girl."

The fifteen minutes seemed to drag on forever without a coffee in my hand, but I made it work. When we were driving through the gates, I woke Sophia up gently, whispering things like "Sophia. Hey." And "C'mon. Time to get up".

She rubbed her eyes and checked on Simon.

We came to a halt and Dimitri opened the door for us, offering to take the baby. Sophia glared at him.

"No! No one except Rose!"

So instead, Dimitri helped Sophia out of the car, and then offered me his hand to help me out too. Sophia held Dimitri's hand as we walked up to the infirmary, the place we guessed they would end up eventually.

After about fifty metres, Sophia was clinging onto Dimitri the way she was with me. It looked to me as if she had started to trust someone else, but I couldn't be sure. People who have gone through a traumatic experience like that…it was easy to see why she would only trust her rescuers. I wondered if she would come to like Lissa…

Denis waited for us, talking to the nurse.

Sophia was instantly dragged away from us, screaming out to me and Simon.

I rushed up to Denis. "What the hell!"

"She needs to be checked up on, Roza."

"Well can I go in there? Or Simon at least? She's just been through all that…"

"Go." He told me. "Go in there with her, then. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for her to be dragged away from you…"

I didn't say anything else to him. Dimitri followed me into the room she had been taken too.

As soon as she saw us, she stopped crying and ran towards us, almost knocking Dimitri over with her knee hug. I was pulled by her little hands next to Dimitri so she could be near the both of us.

She had definitely begun to trust Dimitri.

I bent down and kissed her head, supporting Simon's head on the way down.

Denis had followed us in. I turned to him.

"What's the plan?"

He smiled. "We will be enrolling them both in Saint Vladimir's."

I waited for more, but nothing came. "That's it?"

"What more do you want?"

I pretended to think. "Hmm…I don't know. A _real_ plan. One that won't destroy both of their futures?"

"Destroy their futures? Rose, this is no different than your life."

"Which is exactly why I'm totally against this." I told him. "You didn't see me before. We were a mess."

"And now you are one of the most respectable guardians I know."

"Because I met Dimitri. I'd probably – no, actually, scratch that – I would definitely be in a blood whore community if it wasn't for him. How can you know that Sophia is going to meet someone like Dimitri when she's old enough? Or Simon? Don't you see how many faults there is with this plan?"

"And what do you suggest we do, Rose?" he asked.

"Foster family." I said simply.

"They are royalty, Rose, and there aren't many Moroi or Dhampir families out there that would take on that responsibility. Or the guardians."

"have you even tried?"

"Of course we have."

"Liar." I hissed. "You had three hours!"

Denis stumbled. "We don't have the time to go into this. The court can not baby sit these kids. It's standard procedure."

I looked over at Dimitri who was now standing quietly over in the corner, listening to us argue. He had taken the baby from my arms. He looked like a dad.

He nodded, his eyes deep with meaning. I took a deep breath and then faced Denis again.

"And if I can do better?" I asked him.

He raised and eyebrow. "Then we would consider it."

I breathed in. "Give me…three days. That's all I'm asking for. If I can't…"

"You have two." He told me.

Relief flooded through me, but my mind was now wondering where the heck I would get someone who was willing to take on two children.

"Also, you will be spending your break from today tomorrow and one day will be taken from your next break so you can look after the kids for two days." He looked to Dimitri. "I can do the same with you, if you'd like to help her out."

Dimitri nodded.

Denis turned back to me. "They'll be sleeping your room, too."

Great. I didn't mind Sophia so much, but Simon, I knew from Sex Ed class back in the academy, would cry. I would have to change him too.

Great.

"Fine." I told him.

He nodded. "Great. But they still need a medical. If I were you, I'd take this time to yourself. You might need it."

I did.

This was going to tire me out, but it was worth it.

The last thing I wanted was for them to turn out like me.

**Hey!**

**Sorry I didn't post this last night. I was so tired. And I'm sick. *cough**cough***

**Anyway! I got heaps of reviews! Now that's more like it! **

**Lauren**


	5. Cemetery Proposal

Despite my attitude towards Denis today, I took his advice and went for a deeply relaxing walk when they were being checked up. I had asked Sophia if she preferred me to stay, and she did, but Dimitri had over heard us and told Sophia that he would be there to make sure everything was okay, knowing I really needed a break.

I walked with my hands in my pockets, naturally, towards the cemetery.

When I reached it, I sat down in my usual spot and hugged my knees.

I didn't know why this place drew me in. It wasn't like I enjoyed staring at the names carved into the polished stone. I didn't like getting a cold, wet butt, and grass stains on my jeans. I didn't like how the sun shined over all the stones like it was a perfectly normal day.

Saying that over in my head, it sounded wrong. It wasn't the same concept, really.

I didn't _like_ doing my homework.

I didn't _like_ getting stains on my jeans.

I didn't _like_ getting a wet butt.

I didn't _like_ being cold.

I didn't _like _the atmosphere.

I didn't _like _on apples.

I _hated_ looking at the names. See the difference? I did.

But then, the question still remained. Why did I come here, then? All these dislikes…all the hates…and yet I would sit out here at every opportunity I got.

My life was whacked up.

I pulled myself up from the ground on impulse, and walked North West for a little while, moving down the strip of grass in between coffin sized dirt patches. The names blurred on the stones, and I wanted to go back, but I didn't.

I stopped and Eddie's grave.

I sat beside it and cleared some of the grass from around it so they didn't even start to over power the stone. It stood as a singular statue in the middle of the grass. I refused to let it join together.

"I know you can't hear me," I told the air I breathed. "I know you've moved on. But…Eddie I need your help. God, everything has turned so sour! It wasn't meant to be like this!"

I hugged my knees.

A slight wind kissed my cheek.

"I wish you were here. I wish everything could be okay."

I jumped, embarrassingly, when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I took a deep breath before taking it out and flipping it open.

_Theatre. Come. _

_-D_

I raised an eyebrow, but wiped my face, took a deep breath, and then left Eddie.

I walked for a good ten minutes back over to the main part of the court. I passed the offices, most of the halls, and other unknown buildings until I reached the Court's theatre hall. I didn't even really know where it was, but I think I had passed it one day before…it never really stuck with me, though.

Hesitantly, I opened the front door of the abandoned hall and walked in.

The first thing I saw when I walked in was the stage, and the set that was stuck around it. Trees and bushes made out of cardboard, and painted in a very professional way.

And set up in the middle of the trees and shrubs was a picnic blanket and basket. I smiled and walked up the stairs in the middle of the stage to get onto it.

Dimitri walked from backstage smiling.

I smiled and shook my head in disbelief. "And here I thought you were doing the responsible thing. Where's Sophia?"

"Lissa's looking after her."

Of course Sophia would warm up to her.

He was three steps away from me now, and coming closer.

"And you, my dear, deserve some time off." He smiled, placing a hand on my back, leading me towards the blanket.

We sat down. Dimitri produced two wine glasses from the basket and filled them with champagne. Just a small drink. Even though we had the next two days off now, we would still be working.

I took a sip of my champagne. "Very nice."

He nodded and held his glass up for me. We tapped glasses before taking another sip.

"All this?" I asked suddenly. "Really? Who died?"

It was a joke, but I caught myself. I was hitting a little to close to home.

"Is it so weird?" he asked innocently.

I thought for a second. "Yep." I decided.

He laughed. "Like I said, you needed the break."

I smiled. "And you thought of this….how?"

He shrugged. "I didn't know where you went for your 'walk'; I figured this was the safest option."

I looked around me. "Good bet. I haven't even been in this part of the Court."

Drama, acting…all those 'talents'…it wasn't for me.

"Are you feeling okay, Roza? I mean…with everything that's going on?"

He stared into my eyes. I melted under his gaze.

"I'm getting there, Comrade. I promise you. I'm trying."

He took my face in his hands to stare deeper in my eyes. He was full of worry and concern. It made me want to kiss him and just…make him feel better. I didn't want him to worry about me like that.

"I want you to be happy, Roza," he told me. "I want you to have everything. Everything and anything. But…I'm worried about this Sophia situation. You don't think that maybe…it might be too much? It's alright to have feelings, Roza. It's alright to say 'enough'."

I put on my best smile. "I'm getting there, Dimitri. It's…it's getting better."

"Are you _sure_? Roza…"

I kissed him then, to shut him up. I didn't want to break down in front of him. Not again, like so many other times I had.

"I have everything I've ever wanted," I told him. "I have you."

He closed his eyes for about thirty seconds before opening them, trying to choose his words carefully. I knew what he was going to say, though. He was going to ask me why I hadn't said yes or no to his proposal. He wanted an answer, but he didn't want to push me when I've already got so much on my plate.

"Roza…I need to know…"

He opened his eyes when I kissed him for a short while, and then pulled back.

"Yes," I told him.

He frowned in confusion, but a small glimmer of hope played on his features.. "Yes?"

I smiled. "Dimitri. I want to marry you."

He tried to keep the smile off his face. Oh, how he tried! But he couldn't, not all the way.

"Really?" he asked, smirking in a teasing kind of way.

I pushed his shoulder softly, tipping him over a bit. Luckily, he didn't spill any of his drink.

"Not to be smug or anything." I said sarcastically.

He kissed me. His hard and soft lips were cold, but not any longer. I was pulled on top of him, our drinks set aside. I didn't know where this was leading, but him stopping suddenly wasn't good for my nerves, even though I was happy about my…new status.

"Rose…" he muttered under his noisy breath.

"Yeah?"

"I want to do this right," he muttered. He tried to stand up, but with me half pulled onto him, I wasn't helping. I pulled myself off of him and stood up. He needed no help to stand up, and then fall on one knee and take my hand.

When I realised what he was doing, I breathed in a little too deep.

"You don't have to-"

"Yes, I do." He cut in and then cleared his throat. He reached into his back pocket and produced a small, red velvet box, and opened it. There was a shiny gold ring with three small diamonds, two smaller than the middle one.

He wasn't uncomfortable, but I knew he meant this, and that he didn't do it too often. "Roza…I never thought I would ever find the one I wanted to be with…anyone I would _want_ to protect and just…love. But you, Roza, you're everything to me. Will you marry me?"

I wanted to cry I was so happy, but I managed to contain my tears. I smiled at him, showing no teeth.

"Yes." I whispered.

He smiled and slid the ring on my finger.

My mother would not be happy about this. She would not be happy at all. I could hear her lecture now!

_You're too young! Blah! Blah! Blah! Some many more experiences! Blah! Blah! Blah!_

But I didn't care. This was what I wanted. After all this time, after everything…I would marry the love of my life.

I kissed him again, so happy. So thrilled.

I was now engaged.

We fell over laughing, and I was now lying on top of him, pushing the hair out of my face unsuccessfully. It fell back into place immediately, but some stayed. We laughed together softly before kissing again.

We only had five minuted alone before we were interrupted when the large door opened at the opposite end of the hall. I jumped off of Dimitri immediately, but I was sitting up. Dimitri sat up and put his arms around me.

It was only Lissa.

"Sorry to interrupt," she smiled. She didn't need to speak loudly. It echoed through the room.

"Oh no you aren't." I smiled back at her. "But come on in."

"Actually, this little visit instant about me coming in." she said hesitantly. "sorry guys, but Sophia is asking for you two."

I sighed, but nothing could spoil my mood.

I stood up, followed by Dimitri, smiled at him, then took his hand and walked with Lissa towards the infirmary.

But we didn't end up at the infirmary like I thought we would.

We ended up in my room.

Sophia had fallen asleep on my bed with Simon twitching next to her. He was asleep too.

We talked in whispers so we didn't wake them up.

I turned to Lissa. "They wanted us? Really?"

She looked apologetic. "She did. But she's been really tired…sorry I shouldn't have gotten you two. You needed that alone time."

I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed under my breath. "Ah, no, no that's….that's okay. Uh, I need to get to work, anyway. I need to look up some homes…for them. After that we'll get all the alone time we need."

She smiled at me. "It's amazing how much you can change from school to adulthood."

I grinned at her. "That was so cheesy."

"But true."

She winked at me.

**I know I say this a lot! But…**

**FAVOURITE CHAPTER!**

**Sorry for the mistakes. I know, but I'm really sleep deprived. I have no idea why, but I can never sleep when a full moon is near. Werewolf perhaps?**

**Lol. **

**Lauren**


	6. dreams

"Oh but you already have…I'm sorry I just thought…Oh….well, uh….okay….okay bye."

I sighed and slammed my finger on the 'end call' button on the phone and flopped down on my bed.

One full day of calling around, and not one person would take in two children. I banged the pillow on my head three times before I just left it on my face. I only had one more day, and they would be sent off to Saint Vlad's to become mini me's. I couldn't let that happen. So many chances of that going wrong….

Lissa walked in with Sophia at her side, Simon in her arms, and Christian standing behind her protectively. Sophia's eyes brightened when she saw I was here and attacked me. She pulled the pillow off my face and grinned.

"Rose!"

I smiled weakly. "Hey, kiddo."

"Aunty Lissa took us to the park! I was on the swings for…." She frowned, trying to count. She finally gave up and looked at Lissa.

She laughed. "Half an hour."

Sophia nodded then looked back at me.

I tried to smile again. "That's great, Sophia!" I said as enthusiastically as I could.

Lissa instantly picked up on my mood. "Uh, Sophia? Why don't you go find Uncle Adrian?" She looked at Christian. "Please?"

He nodded and then grabbed Sophia's hand softly. "Come on."

She giggled and went with Christian.

As soon as she left and she was out of ear shot, I groaned and fell back on the bed again, dragging another cold pillow and plopped it on my face.

"Haven't had much success?" she asked.

It probably wasn't very visible from under the pillow, but I shook my head.

"Well you're in luck!" she told me. "I found a very nice home for them!"

I sighed and sat up. "Lissa, thanks for your help, but I think I really need to do this on my own. I can't just dump them in some home and never see them again."

She grinned. "Which is exactly why my person is brilliant!"

"Some royal friend that I don't know about?" I guessed.

She smiled and shook her head. "No. Trust me, Rose. Leave this all up to me. If I ever do anything for you, consider this to be it."

"You've done heaps for me, Lissa."

She waved it away. "Just let me do this. Trust me! You will definitely approve! You know her better than anyone."

I hesitated. "Lissa….you're not talking about….you…are you?"

She paused, and then ended up bursting in laughter. "Uh, no, Rose. I don't think so."

I sighed. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Let me make a phone call or two, and I will see if she is willing."

I thanked Lissa in my mind, but I didn't remember if I said it or not. I closed my eyes and collapsed, once again, on my bed. This time, my eyes did not open again for another eight hours.

I was praying that in that time, Lissa had made the arrangements…

I was definitely buggered if she didn't.

***Interval***

_Giggling. That was all I could hear, all I could make sense of, even though I couldn't make much, if any, sense of it._

_It was little girls that were giggling. Nothing was particularly funny from where I was standing, but they seemed very entertained. Very amused._

_They appeared in front of me, all four of them. Three were preoccupied with a skipping rope, singing songs that I could remember from my childhood, not that I had any time for that back then._

_That last one was staring at me in a peculiar way. She didn't blink. Her eyes were wide open. _

_She was not smiling. She was crying soundlessly._

_I stared into her eyes as she cried, oddly muted by the songs and giggles of the girls behind her. But the girls disappeared…_

_But she remained._

_There was no sound. Everything was on mute except for my own voice. My own breaths._

_The little girl's face changed. She blinked for the first time since I had seen her, and her facial features changed._

_She was now Sophia._

_I was on the instant alert. She was still crying. It looked like I should have heard her sobs echoing through the room, but it was muted._

_She started screaming then, but I still couldn't hear it. A man appeared behind her, but I did not see his face. I was focused on Sophia being dragged away while she screamed and cried._

"_Sophia!" I cried out to her. "Sophia!"_

_I couldn't help her, but she did see me._

"_Help! Help!" she screamed. "Rose!"_

_I tried to run for her, but I couldn't reach her, no matter how fast I ran._

"_Sophia!"_

_The man shoved her out of my sight and I looked at him._

_I froze in shock and horror._

_Victor smiled at me, turning his full body on me._

"_The game begins." He smirked, and then disappeared._

_I screamed out to Sophia one last time before everything went black._

I shot out of bed with such a shock I rolled out of it and fell onto the floor. I groaned and tried to pick myself up, but I was surprised about how comfortable the floor was. I rolled into a half a ball and closed my eyes.

Three hard knocks on my door made me groan again, but I did not move to get the door. If it was anyone important, they would have a key to get it. And if it was an emergency, they would started yelling at me or break the door down.

"ROSE! OPEN THIS DOOR IMMEDIATELY!" Lissa yelled from outside the door. She had a key. Why didn't she open it herself?

"Please, Rose! It's about Sophia! Olena said yes! She's taking them in!"

Olena? Lissa had asked _Olena?_

I picked myself off the floor and opened it quickly, staring at Lissa with wide eyes.

"You asked _Olena_?" I spoke my thoughts.

Lissa shrugged innocently. "Think about it. She's the best suitor. You can visit them anytime, and you know that Olena will be a great mother."

"I know she is."

"Then why so down? It's better than being sent off to the academy!"

I sighed. "You don't think that they would want to stay somewhere close to home?" I asked her.

She rubbed my arm. "They'll come back, Rose. If that's what you're worried about."

I smiled at her. "Thanks, Lissa. And thank you for finding them a home."

She grinned. "I already told Denis and he wants to speak with you and Dimitri at lunch. Think you're up to it? Or will you just pass out?"

I smiled weakly. "We'll see."

**Okay, yes sorry! I know! Short chapter and you've waited so long for it. Like a week and a half sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Lots going on at the moment. Heaps of half year exams…annoying the hell out of me. Hopefully I'll fall back into routine.**

**Please tell me what you think.**

**Lauren**


	7. Forced

"What do you mean I have to go to Russia?"

Denis pressed his fingers together under his chin in deep thought, trying to find the words to explain his irrational actions.

"You were the one who was so intense on their futures." He noted.

I slammed my hand down on the table. "Yes! Because that's morally right! You're only doing this to piss me off-!"

"No, I am doing this for the children's future." He cut in. "If your plan is to ship them off to Russia without any personal guidance, then think again. What do you want to do? Just shove them on a plane and never think about them again?"

"Of course I would think about them! And I would call to make sure they got there safely! Who the bloody hell do you think I am?" I shouted.

"And who do you think I am?" he snarled. "Do you think Guardians just grow on trees? We need all the guardians we can get here, except you."

"Well that's not very fair-"

"And if I here another complaint out of you, Rosemarie, we won't need Dimitri either."

That shut me up. It was one thing for me to be flown to somewhere was I really wasn't needed, but it was another to put Dimitri's career on the line.

"Why are you doing this to me, Denis? What changed?" I asked him softly. "I thought you and me….you and Dimitri were friends."

He sighed. "Rose, I can't help you. I know what's best and I know you enough to fight back. This is something that needs to be done whether you like it or not."

"Why? What's wrong with them meeting with Olena in Russia?"

Denis leaned over his table to look at me, even though it really wasn't necessary. We were both standing around in his office, arguing with each other, once again, about Sophia's and Simon's future. Dimitri stood out of the argument, although he did try to help whenever he could.

"True, we could send them to Olena," he told me. "But there is still the case of guardian selection for the children."

I had to do a double take. "I'm Lissa's guardian."

"Lissa can be rearranged with new guardians. That part it simple. Finding a suitable guardian…someone the children can get along with….you…is hard to find. Lissa can adapt."

"There has to be another way," I pleaded. "I can't move to Russia. I'm getting married soon, for crying out loud. That can't happen if Dimitri is over the other side of the country!"

It was his turn to pause. "You're getting married?"

It took me a couple of moments before I nodded.

"To Dimitri."

I smiled. "Jealous?"

He scoffed. "In your dreams."

I winked. "Well, then. Yes."

He rolled his eyes. "Then he shall go too."

My eyes widened as I let the words sink in.

"NO! No, no, no! I…I can't do that to him. That's his choice, not mine."

"Actually, it's my choice." He corrected.

"Well it's still not my choice." I told him.

He rolled his eyes. "Very well. If you don't want Dimitri to come, he won't. That _is_ your choice. You will leave tomorrow despite your decision."

"And what about work? I'm getting paid for this, right?"

He smiled halfly and shook his head. "Not for this job."

"What are you talking about?"

He grinned fully. "I've given you a job at the academy. Combat instructor along with your….friends."

I sighed. "Is there any point in arguing about this?"

He thought for a quick second and then shook his head. "Nope. Sorry."

I didn't want to say anything else. Heck, there was nothing more too say.

Tomorrow I would be flying off to Russia….again...

Why was I always being forced into Baia?

***INTERVAL***

I called Dimitri I short time after returning to my room to pack my things. Who knows how long I would be gone, or if I would ever be returning? Should I take all my stuff? I decided I would, since I didn't have enough to fill a large suitcase anyway.

There was no knock at the door when Dimitri entered into my bitterly cold room. I twirled around when the door opened, not hearing him unlock it.

His face was plastered with poker faces, so I couldn't tell how he really felt.

"Baia?" he asked.

I nodded. "Denis thinks that I should take care of them there for a while until they get adjusted."

He lost his poker faces. He scowled something I rarely saw him do. "And how long does Denis think it will take them to get 'adjusted'?"

I walked into Dimitri's arms and he relaxed instantly. He squeezed me against his chest tightly, kissing my hair before resting his head on my hair.

"I don't know," I told him. "But I'd rather this than the alternative. And I'd rather Olena than some stranger."

"And I'd rather you here, safe in the court with me, than out at my mother's house with no wards."

I stroked his arm that was wrapped around me. "I'd prefer for you to come with me."

He laughed humourlessly. "If he'd let me."

I turned on him. "Why are you being like this? Look, I know it stinks like rotten eggs, but Denis was your friend once upon a time, and he still is, I hope. What happened?"

He sighed and pressed on my back. "Denis didn't know another life than the one that Victor Dashkov showed him. Dashkov showed him that power was great and it should be abused. Now that Denis is in that sort of power…I know he's trying not to let it control him, and I thank him for that, but I still don't trust him enough to call him my friend again. He's being unnecessarily harsh with his decisions."

I stroked his cheekbones with a small smile. "He's doing what he thinks is best. And if it gets too far…Lissa will sort it out. She's not totally helpless, Sheriff."

He smiled and took my hand is his and held it to the side of our head. He then placed my hand on his shoulder before taking my waist and dancing with me slowly, even though there was no music playing.

"Well he told me it was my decision as to whether or not you come.' I told him.

He smiled. "Your decision?"

I nodded. "I talked him out of it using my smarticles."

He smirked in amusement. "Smarticles?"

"Smart particles, duh."

We spun around, my heart fluttering in my chest. We started to waltz lazily.

"Do you want to come? I would have thought, you know, since you like it here so much…"

"Is that supposed to be sarcasm?" he smirked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. It's up to you, in any case. Stay here with Lissa, or go home."

He leaned in close to my ear. His lips brushed against my skin, sending invisible spasms through my skin.

"I go where you go." He whispered. "And no where else."

"Unless I die." I told him.

He had no answer to that, which scared me. Would he really follow me through death? Was again the right word?

"So you're coming then? We leave tomorrow…"

He answered me with a kiss, pulling me close. I collapsed on top of him as we fell onto the bed, not once pulling apart. I tugged his shirt of with my fingers, undoing each button one at a time until I could pull it off.

It landed on the floor.

He ran his hands up my back, etching up my shirt as they went-

"COVER YOUR SHAME! I'M COMING IN!"

I groaned at Adrian's shouts and slid off of Dimitri. I threw his t-shirt back at him to put on before I answered slid the chain on the door shut so he couldn't open the door properly.

"It's open!" I shouted back at him.

The door handle turned and it tugged open three centimetres.

"Very funny, Rose. Let me in."

I sighed. "Whatever."

We closed the door and I slid the chain open, and then opened the door. Adrian rolled his eyes at me. "You're such a child," he looked at Dimitri, who was now shifting through what I would be bringing to Russia like he had been doing that the whole time. Adrian didn't buy it, though, not that Dimitri was trying his best. "Though maybe not."

I sighed. "And you came here because…"

Adrian got back on topic. "Just bringing your children back. I told them to stay outside unless mummy and daddy were-"

"Okay!" I cut in. "Bring them in."

He laughed on his way out, not even bothering to go through the door to grab Sophia's hand and pulled her through. When she saw me, her eyes lit up with delight.

"Rose!"

She tackled me. We both fell onto the floor, the inevitable consequence of a child's love. I hugged her back though. I could feel Adrian's and Dimitri's stares on us, but I couldn't care less. I was glad to see her again.

"Congratulations," Adrian said to Dimitri. "You win."

I looked up at them. "Win what?"

They acted as if I hadn't spoken. "It wasn't a competition, Adrian. You are mistaking it to be harder than it is."

"I still loose." He said. "Doesn't matter. So long as she's happy."

I decided to block them out. I had no idea what they were talking about.

"So, Sophia," I said excitedly. "We get to go to Russia!"

She brightened even more. "We?"

I smiled and nodded. "I wouldn't abandon you. Ever."

She grinned. "Does Dimka get to go too?"

I frowned. "Dimka? How do you-" I looked up at Adrian. "Real funny."

Adrian snickered, but Dimitri didn't seem to mind.

I looked back to her. "Yeah. He is."

She squealed in excitement. "Yay!"

It was hard to believe that her parents had only died about two days ago.

**Hey!**

**So I think I'm back on track, but my new timetable starts on tuesday (tomorrow is a student free day! Woot woot!) and I'm not quite sure what to expect with new classes. But I am so excited because I have dance class now! :) Super fun!**

**Okay, now PLEASE READ THIS PART!**

**I want to do a survey so please PM or Review me your answers! If you haven't joined up to FF yet, you can still review me! **

**If I was to kill rose in the most awesomely possible way, what would it be? I'm not saying that i will or i wont, but i'm curious to know what people are thinking out there! **

**Okay so R&R!**

**thanks**

**Lauren**


	8. the plane

Like always, the plane ride was long and tenuous, but at least Dimitri was here to keep me company, finally. First class plane rides were actually pretty boring if you had to sit there for twenty four hours without speaking a single word to anyone else but yourself.

It seemed Sophia and Simon was sleeping most of the time now, which I guessed was good. It was their natural defence against what had happened, but it was a way of not having to think about it. Maybe the academy would provide some help for them if they really needed it. I really hoped so.

We sat on the floor while Sophia and Simon slept. A big and warm blanket was wrapped around Dimitri and me as we watched the small TV. Even in first class, we were stuck watching some crappy movie from the seventies. But it was fine with me. Neither of us was really paying attention to the screen. More to each other's closeness.

I snuggled closer into Dimitri's chest.

"Roza…" Dimitri mumbled.

I turned my head around to smile up at him. He smiled back down at me.

"How's this for a happy ending?" he smiled.

Oh how I wanted to just fly into the sunrise like the end of a soppy movie, but I seriously doubted that would happen. Not yet, anyway.

"It's not over yet, Comrade," I smiled. "I don't think it will ever be over. Not until we die."

"But we can get close."

I nodded. "We can be happy."

His arms tightened around my waist, pulling me even closer to him, not that I wasn't already sitting on his lap.

"How much longer?" I whispered.

He knew what I meant. "2 hours before we arrive in Baia."

I smiled. "You'd think I'd be sad to leave. I think I would have, if it weren't for you."

"I don't want you to be sad." He teased.

I laughed soundlessly. "Then stay. Forever."

"Forever. Through anything, Roza. I will be anything for you. I would change anything."

I wanted to hug him close to hide the huge smile that I wanted to have on my face, but I was still deciding.

"And if I die?" I asked. "What would you do?"

His smile faltered and I hated myself for ruining the moment, but I needed to know…

He raised his eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

I swallowed. "What would you do? Go back to the court? Live your life to the fullest?"

His eyes pierced into mine for quite a few unmeasurable moments. "I don't think I could." He stated.

I was about to argue with him, but his hand cut me off.

"Say what you want, Rose, but I don't think I could do it. Living without you…it's just not possible for me."

"That's stupid," I told him, although I knew that if it was reversed, I would do the exact same thing.

"Not really."

"How is that not the stupidest thing ever!" I yelled at him. I thought twice about Sophia and Simon sleeping and lowered my voice. "When I go I don't want anything to change."

"But how can it not? Without you, the world would not be the same."

I wanted to argue. I wanted to have an argument that would rule over anything he could throw at me, that anything he said about the world being different would not be true. But I couldn't find one. No matter how much I wished for the world to be the same without me, I knew it wouldn't be.

"I want you to make sure nothing changes," I said slowly, staring out into space. He was on the alert instantly, looking at me carefully and cautiously,

"What?"

I turned my head and stared into his eyes. "I shouldn't have made that much of a difference, Dimitri. It wouldn't be right."

"Why are you saying this? Like you know?" he asked slowly. "Do you know when you will die?"

I looked at my hands which were now folded in my lap. "I only know my own fate." I whispered. "I know I'm going to die, Dimitri. I don't know when, and I don't know how…but I'm not the only one who knows I'm going to die."

He ran his hand under my chin and directed my head to turn towards him fiercely. "Who has been feeding you these lies?" he snarled, but he wasn't angry at me. "I'd like to tell him a thing or two."

I smiled and took my head out of his hands. "If only you could reach him."

"What are you….Who? Roza, you must tell me…" he begged.

"The game." I whispered. I turned my head to look him in the eyes. "The game has begun."

And I said nothing more after that, absorbed by my realisation.

***INTERVAL***

Everyone was looking at the four of us as we descended down the cold, metal plane stairs to the ground, even more than usual. It wasn't just a quick goodbye, it was staring at us as we went down the stairs and started to walk across the cold ground towards the terminal. We were in first class and all, but it seemed they were just staring at _us_. It freaked me out and made my muscles tense.

I carried Simon in my arms tightly to protect him from the weather, while Sophia was bundled up in multiple jackets and holding Dimitri's pants leg as they walked. I held Dimitri's hands as we walked, him rubbing his thumb against the back of it.

We walked into the terminal and were attacked by Olena, Viktoria and Sonya. Hugs flew around the group of us, Dimitri and Sophia getting the longest hugs.

I felt almost guilty that I had seen more of Olena in the past few months than Dimitri had. It seemed wrong to think of her as my family, even though after I married Dimitri, she would be.

It was then that I realised no one had mentioned our engagement, not even Viktoria.

I looked at Dimitri and smiled. "You really didn't tell them?"

Dimitri laughed and hugged me close to his side now that Olena had Simon. "I think they'll catch the drift in a second."

The whole family paused as Dimitri kissed me. I stroked up his jaw with both hands, showing them the new ring that was placed there by Dimitri.

Viktoria was the first one to scream and realise what was going on.

I broke the kiss to laugh at her. The others still hadn't got it yet, so we waited while I chewed on my ring finger.

Olena gasped and smiled. "Dimitri! You! And!" she was the next to scream.

I received the hug that came with the scream, and then looked at Sonya with one eyebrow raised.

She smiled. "I knew you two were secretly engaged already."

That was news to Dimitri, apparently. "What? How?"

She giggled. "Lissa rang Oksana who told Mark who told me. I knew I wasn't supposed to know but…"

I smiled at her. "And you're okay with it."

She grinned. "I am more than happy that Dimitri has found the one person he'd die for." She laughed. We all knew the joke, but no one laughed with her, especially not me.

An awkward silence hung over us before Olena, juggling Simon in her arms, cleared her throat. "Well lets just hope that doesn't happen…again. Shall we?"

"That's probably a good idea." Dimitri agreed and grabbed my hand. "Come on, Roza, we'll get you home then you can get some sleep, eh?"

I nodded and was silent.

We started to walk, but that was when there was an explosion behind us.

**HEY!**

**So the next chappie is out! Woot woot! Sorry about this guys, but it still might be on off with the chapter updates and, well, it is going to get unbearably suspenseful.**

**Liking the detail? Hope you do! :)**

**Feel free to PM me anytime you want! I love making new friends! Whether its just questions or you just want to have a chat, I'd be glad to go for it! Won't be able to do much soon. Doctors appointment on Wednesday to decide whether I get my tonsils out.**

**Scary. And I would just like to say thankyou to my loving grandmother who has gone out of her way to tell me ALL the details about what happens when someone gets their tonsils out…truly thankful.**

***clears throat* Maybe not.**

**Anyway R&R! Thanks for all the concern and understanding! Hopefully it'll be soon!**

**Lauren**


	9. SORRY!

Ah! Sorry guys! Actual new chapter has been replaced!


	10. the incident

Dimitri and I instantly jumped in front of Olena, Viktoria and Sonya, pushing them to the ground. Simon has been shocked awake by the fire explosion and started crying, making Sophia cry. We pushed them behind of the walls and let them stand up. Screaming of humans was coming from the explosion.

"You have to run." I told them in a pant. "Get in your car and drive away. Go home. We'll come back later." _If I survive._

Olena nodded and directed the rest of them towards the car, making sure they didn't go out into bright, open spaces.

I withdrew my stake from underneath my pants leg and started the run towards the screaming and fire, but a hand drew me back.

"You go with them." Dimitri told me.

I shook my head. "No."

"Yes. Roza, please. Don't fight me on this, just this once."

I took a deep breath and held his face. "I have to."

I turned away from him and started walking again, but this time, more harshly, he grabbed my upper arm and spun me towards him. "I will not let you."

"It's not your decision. I love you, Dimitri, but this isn't just going to go away without us."

I turned away from him once again, and this time, I was successful to keep walking towards to the fire. One more, ear piercing scream shot through the building, and Dimitri ran with me.

Six Strigoi were plucking humans from their run towards the only exit in the whole building. They spotted us as instantly as I felt them in my nausea. One threw away the human it had finished off and came at us.

I swiped at the two that had come at me, stabbing one in the stomach before the heart. The other one I could only manage to scrape with my stake, but that fazed him enough with pain to distract him so I could have access with his heart.

It was such a waste. I wished Denis and the rest of them could come up with an idea on how to save these Strigoi. It was already possible! But I knew they wouldn't let Moroi go into battle. Not without every Moroi against them.

Even Denis wouldn't allow that.

I went over to help Dimitri, who had struck down two as well. I stabbed on of his from behind, drawing his attention to me before I could kill him. Dimitri finished of his as well, and everything was silent. Dimitri and I, puffing, looked at each other.

"See, comrade? Piece of ca-"

Pain struck in the middle of my stomach and I stumbled backwards. Blood started to pour out from my wound.

I lifted my shirt to reveal a hole in my stomach. Painfully, I dug and pulled out a hard, metal object.

A bullet.

"Rose!"

I collapsed backwards, in a daze. Dimitri caught me and lowered me to the ground, me still in his arms.

"Rose! Oh no! ROSE!"

I held his face gently. "Remember what I said. Nothing to-"

I turned my head away to cough up blood onto the floor. Dimitri kissed me harshly, tears falling from his perfect eyes. It made me sick to see them there, but I was in too much pain to notice it much.

I was slipping away. For good.

I wouldn't be coming back.

"No. I'll get Lissa…She'll help…"

Had I said that out loud? Whoops.

I smiled weakly. "You can't bring back a person more than once…"

Pain exploded inside of my head, but it hurt too much physically to scream. Over the other end of the bond, I could feel Lissa experiencing the same pain, screaming and clutching her head.

The bond was breaking.

When the pain stopped, I was dead.

Really dead.

***INTERVAL***

Dying was the most amazing, smooth, enjoyable process I could imagine. Sure, it was painful how my soul was ripped from my body, letting every muscle go at once to let it go. I couldn't remember anyone, anything at that point. But afterwards, it was incredible. I saw my soul rise above me before I was blind for a brief moment.

Then I could see _everything_. Everything was so clear and perfect.

I was free.

I was hovering over my body. The blood had stopped pouring out of my body, but the tears in Dimitri's eyes didn't stop, no matter how hard he tried to wipe them away.

He slid my eyes shut, finally, with his fingertips and kissed my forehead before standing up. From his pocket he produced a lighter and held it in his hand for a second, and then he dropped it back in his pocket. He dragged the dead Strigoi into a pile, hesitating when he thought of throwing the dead, including me, into the pile. He didn't though.

He took the lighter out of his pocket again, held it tightly, then lit it and threw it at the pile.

Strigoi burned well. Only the sun would set them alight, so an actual heated flame did it perfectly.

He then walked towards me and held his phone. He dialled a number, and spoke in English to the person I recognized was Denis.

Denis sounded irritated. "What do you want? I'm kind of busy here!"

"Denis," Dimitri said too calmly.

Denis knew instantly something was wrong by the sound of Dimitri's voice. His voice turned softer, more concerning. "What's going on? Dimitri? Answer me! What's going on?"

"We were attacked." Was all he said. That was all he needed to say.

Denis instantly got the idea. "We heard Lissa's scream…we didn't know…I'm so sorry, Dimitri. Really, I am."

"She knew it was coming." He said evenly. "She doesn't want anything to change."

Good man.

"What do you mean? No, go away! Sorry, what are talking about?"

Dimitri swallowed. "She doesn't want anything to change. She wants us…to go on."

Denis paused on the other end of the line. "Can you? Can you go on?"

Dimitri closed his eyes and leaned against a wall. "I need some time here, Denis. I need to look after Sophia and Simon…I'll come back in two weeks, but you need to pick…her up. She needs to get back to the court. Maybe Lissa…"

"I'm sure she will try, Dimitri." He said. "But she's already dead. Only she knew what really happens after death."

He looked at me, on the ground. "Maybe I know enough."

"Maybe. Or maybe not. Be prepared for the worst, Dimitri. I have a feeling it will be useful."

He nodded, even though he was on the phone. "Thank you, Denis. When will they be here?"

A slight pause. "An hour. We have someone stationed over there at the moment…they were due to come back next week, but a week earlier should be fine."

"Thank you." He said again.

The phone was then disconnected.

Dimitri sat by my side, stroking my face while he waited for the people to come and pick me up. When they arrived, they took me away.

Dimitri shoved his hands in his pockets and walked towards his house, looking at the ground. He walked until he found a taxi that brang him back to his house.

And I was left to wander the world.

Invisible and alone.

**I had a big smile on my face when people read my last chapter and reviewed 'NO! DON'T KILL ROSE!' but breathe! It's not like this is the last chapter! It's no where near done yet!**

**And sorry bout the chapter mix up. I was tired! :( **

**I just love killing Rose….but now shes DEAD! D.E.A.D DEAD! No coming back for her now….or is there? Will she? Keep reading! And keep R&R! You guys help much more than you will ever imagine! **

**Lauren**


	11. dimitri and death

**Okay!**

**So heres the chapter where you get a first person vision into Dimitri's mind and what's going on in there after Rose has died! FIRST EVER! Woot woot!**

**Enjoy :)**

*****Dimitri POV*****

As I walked down the hall for the third time today to see Rose, I walked past two of the guards talking to each other. I ignored them at first when I passed them, but ducked around the closest corner and listened in carefully once the taller one of the two mentioned her name.

"Poor man," the taller one said. "He just hasn't been the same since that Rose Hathaway died. Pity, too. She was just as good of a guardian as he was, even better, but now we lost her, Dimitri has just lost his will."

The shorter one agreed. "Yeah. Just gone through all that to be together, and then she drops dead," I cringed. "But it's been a month. A normal guardian would have gotten over it by now."

"He's no normal guardian, Jack. And I think he really loved her. I mean, that's his third time to go and see her today. I wish they would just hurry up and burry her stinking body already. They have the grave set out and everything."

"So what's the hold up?" the taller one asked.

"I think the princess is still trying to save her. She goes over and tries almost as much as that Dimitri guy. I think he's influencing her to keep trying, though I doubt it. Vasilisa is very hard to influence." Jack sighed. "It's love, Cam. It can make a man loco."

"Do you think the spirits will stop trying to suck our brains out now?" Cam asked suddenly. "You know, since that Rose girl isn't here anymore. Do you think they're still outside the ward waiting for the princess too or just given up and gone home?"

"Home? Do ghosts even have homes?"

Cam rolled his eyes. "All I know is that guy is one seriously unlucky dude."

"Yeah man. And she was easy on the eyes too."

Cam sighed. "Poor guy."

Jack nodded. "Yeah. Maybe we should take him out for a drink later?"

"Maybe you should mind your own business and let him grieve." Cam replied.

They said nothing on the subject anymore, not that I wanted to hear anything more they had to say about my miserable life and how much they pitied me. I had told people I wasn't looking for a pity party and asked to respect my own space…but apparently that didn't stop people talking about it, even though it had been a month.

_Ten more days to save her, and then she's gone forever._

And that was if she hadn't already found the light. Maybe she was already gone, and I was left here, a sucker, to wallow in guilt.

I kept walking down the hall, surprisingly crowded since it only led to a few places that both Moroi and Dhampirs didn't visit very often.

I squeezed past two people walking down the hall holding each other's hands, taking up the entire width of walking space. I rounded three corners and busted through two double doors before I reached the morgue. Kathy was the usual person who worked here, so she knew I would be coming sooner or later. She just gestured towards the door, knowing I knew where she would be.

Lissa was already there, her eyes closed in deep concentration, and her arms spread over Rose, not touching her, but hovering over her like a fortune teller.

She heard me walk towards her and she dropped her hands and looked at me before standing up and walking over to me.

"Dimitri, you know I don't want to give up…I would give anything to have her back…but I know when enough is enough. She's gone, Dimitri. I haven't been able to get a glimpse at her for the past month, and I won't get it in ten days. We need to let her go." Her voice was cracking, like she was trying to hold tears back herself. "There's just no hope for her anymore."

I sighed and hung my head. "Thank you, Lissa. For trying. I know, and I'm sorry."

She smiled sadly. "I wish she was here. She'd know what to do."

I let her hug me, but only for a short while. It was so very easy to get lost in the idea that I was hugging Rose when I closed my eyes, even if it was only for three seconds.

Of course I feared that I would never be able to let her go. That was why I had asked her to marry me, so I would never have to.

But what I still wanted to know was how she knew she was going to die? What game? What was she talking about? And how was it so accurate?

It saddened me to know I would never be able to find that out, and it would keep me awake for a long while.

Was it so easy to predict when you were going to die?

I thought about Rose and what it must be like to float around outside the wards. Was she trying to get in? Or was she as free as a bird?

Wards….

_Wards…._

Oh, my goodness.

"Lissa!" I shouted, running in the direction she had left in.

***ROSE POV***

Life was lonely when you were a lost soul. Yeah, that was our technical name, apparently. Not alive, not dead. Us who had chosen to roam the earth for as long as we could.

I just couldn't let go of it.

The others had spread rumours of people coming back to this stage from the other side, and how glorious and free it was.

Most of those people who truly believed it was possible to come back had forgotten everything but their names of their past life. I could slowly feel myself loosing parts of my memory, no matter how hard I tried to hang on to it.

It worked, if I thought about the memory I didn't want to loose. I played it over and over in my head, again and again until I was sure I wouldn't forget it. I was working hard to keep them, but it was only in the last five days where you really went insane with your thoughts.

And I thought my mind and I were screwed before.

"Rainbows and stuffed animals and bunnies and kitties and….and…"George chanted under one of the many trees that surrounded the academy.

"GEORGE! Shut your mouth! You're dead! There aren't going to be anymore rainbows or stuffed animals or kitties _or_ bunnies." Ralph snarled at George as he walked by.

George shrunk back like he had been slapped.

I leaned against the academy wall, the closest I could get to the ward, and the school, and Lissa and Dimitri. Ralph moved to sit next to me.

"Well that was subtle." I said sarcastically.

"He's a stupid moron." He growled.

"And you're not?"

He glared at me. "No. I am not, actually. He was stupid enough to run into a battle without a cause or hope, and look where it's got him."

"Says the dead man who screams and shouts because he loved his life so much it must be everyone else's fault he's dead." I said evenly. I was really paying noticeable attention to him.

He shut up for a moment, so I kept talking while I 'stood' up.

"You keep telling yourself that you don't care that you died, that you had lived a full life and you are leaving nothing behind. But I know, and you know, that's not the case. Everybody leaves something behind, Ralph. You're just so obnoxious to notice you're 'fulfilled' life is what you miss most."

"And here I thought you were the only one in this place that feels the same way I do about dying." He muttered. "You sit there most days like nothing ever bothers you, and I heard about you, Rose Hathaway. But maybe the rumours were wrong."

"Rumours are lies made up for people's entertainment. But news travels, I guess. What exactly did you hear?"

"At fifteen you escaped with the princess to go shopping for two years. Very impressive that you could stay away for that long." He added. I wasn't in the mood for taking compliments. "When they finally caught you, they forced you to train. You dropped out of school again, and then came back. You graduated with flying colours but then escaped _again_ and let Victor Dashkov out of prison. Seems like you weren't gonna miss much, if you ask me."

I pressed my hand against the ward, the closest I could get to touching anything recently.

"I lost my best friend and the love of my life. And this _damn_ ward is the only thing that is keeping me from seeing them….one last time…."

"Pussy." He muttered.

"You know what?" I said, suddenly irritated. "If I have to spend eternity with you, I am going to be _so_ pissed."

"Yo! Rose!"

I turned around slowly to see Elena looking at the gate.

"Who…who were your little friends again?"

I went up to her quickly and looked out the gate too.

There was me. There was Lissa. There was Dimitri. There was Mark. There was Adrian, all looking lost with a bit of excitement.

What the hell were they doing?

*****Yeah I know! OMG more than two scenes! But I couldn't just leave it there! You call me cruel, but how cruel would THAT be?*****

Stupid, hot, sexy, god-like creature! No!

He was trying to bring me back.

Adrian and Dimitri set my body just outside the gate. I guessed they were still cautious about the 'ghosts' that were coming after them. Not that I would let anything happen to them.

"Now this is going to get…quite dangerous, I think. The ghosts can be very unpredictable, as you may already know…" Mark said.

"Is she out there?" Lissa asked.

I turned to the others. "You guys might want to…"

They caught my drift, dispersing into the trees, out of sight, though I knew they would be watching and waiting to see what would happen.

"Give me a sec," Mark closed his eyes to concentrate.

I sighed and went to sit back in my usual spot to watch Dimitri and Lissa. Those were the faces I would miss most, if I remembered them at all after this.

Mark opened his eyes and looked around again, locking his eyes on me in an instant. I didn't know that Mark could do this like I could, but I sensed it wasn't exactly the same thing.

"There," he said simply, and everyone's eyes were on the space around me. Only Mark knew exactly where I was, so the others were looking up and around me, like they were trying to guess where I was.

"Roza." Mark said calmly. "Can you speak? Rose? Answer me?"

I suddenly didn't feel like talking, but I pushed past my ghost PMS and put on my best smile. "I can try."

I didn't know if he heard me or not, but I guessed by his reaction that he could only barely make the words out.

"She's here. Now we can try."

"Are you not going to ask me?" I shouted. Mark didn't hear me.

A light exploded from behind me, and both Mark and I turned towards it. Lissa, Adrian and Dimitri hesitated, studying Mark's reaction.

When I saw the light, I knew instantly what it was. I saw the others creep out of the shrubs cautiously, to get a better glimpse, out of the corner of my eyes.

This was _our_ light.

And it was so wonderful. It was everything I could ever imagine. All the good things. No tricks. No lies. No rumours.

Just me, in the place I craved to be in.

That was what I needed from my life.

To see their faces again.

I took a step towards the light, but Mark's panicked voice stopped me.

"Rose! Guys, if you want to start it, do it now. The light, if you don't do it now, she'll be gone. ROSE!"

"Why do you want to chase me from the place I want to be?" I asked him. He heard me. "Who…who are you to say who I am and what I want. I…Who are you?"

"We're loosing her, guys! Do it now!"

One of the guys, the one that was less muscly, was smooth and cool. "I thought you didn't approve of this, Mark."

"I'm stating a fact."

He rolled his eyes.

The girl rested her hands on the body, and it took me a minute to realise what she was trying to do.

I started to fade away, drawn to both the light and the body. I was being tugged in two different ways….it hurt.

I screamed as Mark told Lissa to stop.

"She's coming! I can feel her! She's coming!"

I screamed one more, large and ear piercing scream that made Mark cringe before my soul was ripped in half.

**Hey guys!**

**You cant count that as me killing her again, but because, technically, I just killed her more haha!**

**So tomorrow I get my doctors appointment, so I'm a little nervous. I need my tonsils out, I know, but I don't like needles! Waa! But its for the best, I guess…. Thanks for the concern anyway guys! I really appreciate it!**

**R&R!**

**Lauren**


	12. More Dimitri and Death

As my eyes drifted between open and closed, I could only faintly hear murmurs coming from beside me. The people were arguing, I could tell. They sounded like they wanted to shout, rather than whisper.

"She has no heartbeat! How is this possible…" a woman whispered. I imagined her looking down on me.

"See? You can't live if you have no heartbeat!" the first man said.

"But she's breathing! You can't breathe if you are dead-" said the second.

"Well actually-" the woman tried to cut in.

"Do you want her to die? Is that it?"

"Of course not! I'm just not getting my hopes up. No one can live if they have no heartbeat. End of story."

"A person needs to be alive to breathe!"

"QUIET!" the woman shouted. The men stopped immediately and there was a short pause. "What I was _trying_ to say before is that, technically, she's not breathing. No air is being pulled in, and no air is being pulled out. But her muscles are reacting in the same way as if she was breathing."

"See." The first man said evenly.

"But it's not a muscle reaction either. She needs to be…alive to have those muscle reactions."

"So we did something wrong." The second man said. "She'll be alive in body, but not in mind?"

"Well that's the odd thing. We think she might actually come through. Look at her eyes, right there! Their fluttering. Someone's home."

I tried to mutter something to the three of them, and the woman shooed the boys outside. She then came back to me and tried to get me to wake up.

"Rose? C'mon Rose. Let's get you sitting up so you don't pass out on us again, okay?" she said gently. She helped me sit up, straining every muscle in my body. I collapsed back onto the carefully positioned pillow to keep me upright.

"How's it been, Kirova?" realisation suddenly flew into my mind. "Kirova? What the hell…"

"Language, Rosemarie."

I groaned and held my stomach, feeling sickly pain. My fingers ran over something on my stomach, and I lifted my t-shirt quickly.

There was a big, gaping hole.

Oh right. I had been shot.

"Not even bandaged?" I asked her. "I know you hate me, but I think an infection wouldn't be the best thing right now."

She hesitated. "Well, Rose, that's the thing…" she said slowly. She swallowed and stared me straight in the eyes.

"Technically, you're dead."

***DIMITRI POV***

Kicked out for bickering about something I knew was right. Rose had to survive, I had watched the whole thing! Her dead, then screaming, then gasping for air….she had been alive then, she had to be alive now.

She just had to.

But Mark had explained what had happened. Her soul being…torn apart…we hoped and prayed that she was alive and well in that room.

"Good going, Dimitri. Now we're both in Kirova's bad books." Adrian said sarcastically as he lit a smoke as he leaned against the closest wall to him.

"You were never in her good books, Adrian. Trust me."

"But I don't."

I sensed that he did actually trust me, if it was a life or death situation or something similar.

I tried to listen in on the conversation that was taking place on the other side of that door, but I could only make out murmurs.

But relief flooded over me. At least she was talking.

"At least that's one thing to be happy about. She sounds normal. She might actually remember what her old life was like before."

It sounded like he wanted to put my name on the end, but thought better of it. Besides, I was around her longer than him.

The door clicked as the handle on the other side of the door was turned and both Adrian and I stood at the opposite side of the room. Headmistress Kirova led Rose out slowly, her eyes showing some amusement as she saw me looking at Rose.

I wanted to run to her and press her against me like normal. I just wanted to remember what it was like to have her again in my arms.

Safe.

She looked at me sadly, the opposite response I assumed, and I wanted, from her. She smiled sadly and waved slightly at the both of us before being pushed down the hall by Ellen Kirova.

"What was that all about?" Adrian asked.

"I don't know." I told him truthfully. "But it would be best to give her space. She has been dead for a month now, you know."

"You've really fallen hard, haven't you? Turned you soft if you ask me."

"I didn't ask you."

"Not yet." He agreed casually. It took me a couple of seconds to find the oddness of his tone and his words.

"Yet?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Ya." He said simply. "One day you will wonder what happened to your previous life and come to me asking if you have lost your manliness."

I laughed out loud. "Yes, well, I wouldn't wait around for a while. I have only gained the most important person in my life by loving her."

Adrian smirked and looked away. "Yeah, whatever." I swear I heard him say 'pussy' under his breath, but I wasn't terribly sure. In any case, I wasn't going to tell him off just yet.

I followed her ghostly steps down the hall, guessing she was going back to her room to relax and settle down. She was fine. She was alive. She was safe.

Close to her room, Kirova caught me, walking the opposite way too me. She grabbed my arm. "Don't you dare-"

I didn't know what she was talking about, but I nodded to her and kept walking towards her room. Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door four times and called out her name softly.

"Roza? Roza…please, let me in…"

"Go away." I heard her call back

Why was she acting like this? She was back, she was alive…why didn't she want me here.

"Roza…please…"

I heard her sigh and unlock the door before sticking her head out of the door. "Do you want something?" she asked almost bitterly.

I paused. "My fiancé died for a month then came back to life…you don't think I would want to see you? Roza…you have to tell me what's going on. I'm dying here!"

She laughed humourlessly. "You're dying are you….?" She mumbled sarcastically. She dug into her pocket and produced her engagement ring and held clutched it in her hand. She then stuck her hand out, like she was going to hand it back.

She _was_ handing it back.

"Roza…no, no that's yours…"

She opened the door all the way and stood in front of me. She reached into my jacket pocket and dropped the ring delicately into the fabric, and then patted it shut. She took a step back.

"I won't be needing it." I flinched, her words not quite sinking into my brain.

She looked at my face and sighed. "Dimitri…" she said softly. "Dying….I….I don't love you anymore."

There was ten seconds that hung between us, silent.

"What? What do you mean?"

She smiled sadly, like the words hurt to come out. "I don't love you anymore. Dying…it changed my perspective. And besides, I'm going to guess that it was Lissa's idea to bring me back. Otherwise it wouldn't have taken you a month…"

"You're kidding me, right?" I asked slowly. "Rose, I've done nothing but grieve over you. I went to you three times a day, even though I knew…I thought…."

"It's too late, Dimitri…I'm sorry…"

She started to close the door, but I held it open. "Roza…please…" I said again.

A tear slid down her face. "I'm sorry. I really am sorry Dimitri."

And then she closed the door.

On me.

On us.

On everything I ever cared about.

***ROSE POV *** (I thought it would be mean to leave it here)

To see the hurt on his face, all the flinches, his lips turned down, his face in a silent plea… It was the hardest thing I had to do, but it was the most important thing of my life…death….whatever. I honestly didn't care about names anymore.

As soon as I was sure he was gone, long gone, I snuck out of my room to feel the cool breeze on my face. I walked for a long while, now knowing my feet would only take me one place ever again.

The cemetery.

I sat next to my grave, knowing I should be rotting away in there now. I touched the hole that had been blasted through my chest, knowing it wasn't only physical.

Whoever shot me ruined my whole life….gah...death!

And I would be stuck with this reminder in my stomach for as long as I walked and 'breathed'. I would never heal. I was more fragile than a just born baby. At least they would heal. I wouldn't. Any cut, any bones broken….anything, would stay that way.

One of the many perks of being dead.

My grave had a new improvement added to it. Another death date. They hadn't even bothered to scratch out the last one.

I may as well give up my grave. I mean, I would never die. I would never age…I may as well be a Strigoi, only they could kill me. No, they couldn't even do that. They could shred me into a million pieces and scatter me all over the world…but I still wouldn't pass over to the spirit world. I would just…disappear? Stay here? You couldn't do anything to my body that would kill me in any way.

Half of my spirit is dead.

The one that makes me alive.

I hold told Mark, I thought, that I didn't want to come back. Did he hear me? Why did I know something terrible was going to happen if I did come back?

The result is a bitch.

Thinking of that all reminded me of Ralph. He never did tell me how he died or what he left behind.

That was what I did for an hour. I started in the middle, going backwards to the more recent deaths, looking for a Ralph. I thought it was quite a common name, but apparently, not among the guardians.

There was only one who looked promising. Ralph L Warren. He died about the right time as he had told me…

Ralph L Warren.

Strange name I thought.

Not as strange as what had happened to me in the past twenty four hours, though.

**HEYY!**

**Sorry, I know you have all been very patient…but my sister has now caught the flu, and is acting like she has cancer instead, so I am getting stuck with all the chores and other stuff she is meant to do.**

**Anywho, I would NEVER just kill rose and not let her come back. And I actually think im done killing her….or maybe one more time…near the end…..i don't know. Maybe.**

**:)**

**R&R! PPLLLEEAAASEEE? I'll give u a cherry to put on top !**

**Lauren**


	13. no breath glum bumbs and meetings

Adrian POV

"Dimka," I smirked as I saw Dimitri sitting on the ground, starring out into the trees, his arms wrapped around his knees. I sat down beside him, grunting as I lowered myself to the crispy grass. "Why so glum?"

"I don't think it is any of your business." He snapped, his brow turned downwards like he was genuinely angry. What the hell did I do?

Not that I cared. I reached inside my jacket pocket and drew out my cigarette and lit it. Cranky Dimitri was funny to watch.

"Could you not?" he asked, annoyed.

I laughed shortly. "You sound more and more like Rose everyday."

He flinched so subtly I didn't even think I saw it, but I did.

"What happened?" I asked suddenly. "Is she hurt? What's going on?"

"She's not hurt," he said quietly.

"Did something happen?" I asked, annoyed with his short answers. Why the hell couldn't he just tell me what the bloody hell was wrong with Rose?

He took a deep breath in. "Yeah, something happened."

"What?" I yelled. "Seriously, man, if your this down about Rose…something big must of happened. WHAT?"

He held out his hand to me slowly, closed. I was a little weirded out. Did he seriously want to hold my hand? Ew. I had nothing against gays but I just didn't swing that way-

Then I realised he wanted to hand me something. I geld my hand out, open palmed, under his hand, praying that he really didn't want to hold my hand.

He dropped a small ring in my hand, and I studied it.

Rose's ring.

"She gave it back," I stated. "Tough break."

He nodded.

I offered him a cigarette. "You look like you could use one."

He waved it away.

"I totally get how you feel, though," I continued. "One day I got this sweet new convertible…"

"And?" he asked.

I replayed the story in my head. "That was it. Huh, I guess I really don't know how you feel."

He rolled his eyes and stared out into the trees.

Time for an emergency call.

ROSE POV

"ROSEMARIE HATHAWAY! GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD-"

"You'll swear at god? Cool. Let me know how that goes." I told Lissa on the phone. It was funny how the covers of my bed didn't feel the same way on my back than before. It was always warm to me, even though it could be seven degrees on the outside. One of the many 'perks' of not having any body heat.

"ROSE!"

"What do you want me to come over for?" I asked. "Is it really that important?"

"YES! Like future happiness important!"

I sighed. "Can I skip it?"

"No, Rose." She said in a flat tone.

"Fine. I'll be there in two-"

My room phone started to ring. "Oh for-"

I picked up the other phone, dropping the one with Lissa on it on the bed.

"Hello?" I asked, annoyed. Why the hell was I so popular lately?

"Rosemarie Hathaway," a calm voice stated. "You have been requested to come and see King Denis immediately."

"See, that's the problem. I kind of can't. I got a gathering with-"

"I don't care if you have an appointment with the Jonas Brothers. You will come to the Court immediately." She said in the same calmness.

"No, that's okay!" I said sarcastically. "I mean, I wasn't busy with anything _else_."

"Excellent. See you in five minutes."

I sighed after she hung the phone up, grabbing my mobile and my coat when I walked out the door.

"Sorry, Liss, reschedule?"

She sighed. "I don't suppose there's a choice?"

"Nope." I said glumly. "I wish people would just leave me alone. It's not new news that I'm a little strange and things that have never happened before happen to me. I may be dead, but I do have a private life."

I walked across the grass towards the main hall. What were they going to accuse me of now?

Denis. He was a strange case. He sort of went…unsocial after he got his job as royal of the Dhampirs. He knows what's best, but he can be a real bitch sometimes.

"Can you come round afterwards then?" she asked.

I paused as I saw two people sitting on the grass together.

Dimitri and Adrian.

Had they become close friends when I wasn't here? They seemed to be having a pretty intense conversation.

If it could have, my throat, my lungs, everything would have closed up. So much did I just want to run up to Dimitri, apologize and….

What could I do? It was the reason I told him I didn't love him in the first place!

I would stay eighteen forever…and he would grow old…

He didn't deserve that. He deserved someone who could be with him until his eyes closed for the last time, not someone who would live for centuries after that.

He deserved everything good in the world.

And he would be sad for a while, but I convinced myself that he would get over me eventually and find someone new. Why couldn't Tasha be here when I wanted her?

Did I really want her here? Probably not.

I passed them without them noticing, pushing right to the edges of the grass.

"Rose? Rose!"

"What?"

"Can you?"

"Uh, sorry, what?"

She sighed, frustrated. "Can you come around later?"

"Uh, sure." I told her.

I hung up and made my way towards the main hall.

*8)*

"Miss Hathaway," an old man I didn't know beckoned when he saw me walk into the room. It was only him and me in the room. This man…he was so old…he looked like he was sick too. Like he was about to pass out on the ground and never wake up.

I know where you will go.

"Guardian, Hathaway." I corrected.

He shook his head and smiled. "Not anymore. I'm sorry, Rosemarie, but your title has been revoked."

"What?" I shouted. "No! I'm sorry if I couldn't help being killed but-"

"That," he interrupted sharply. "Is not the reason."

"then what is?"

"You are…far to fragile. It would not be responsible for us to send you out into the world with a gaping hole in your stomach. You do not heal, I have been informed. You will no bruise since there is no blood flow…I'm sorry. I truly am. But it makes sense too keep you here."

"What? For the rest of eternity? Really? You're kidding me!"

"Not – for eternity." He said slowly. "Just until some of your…distractions fade away that may be of harm to you."

He was beating around the bush, to put it simply. "Wait until my friends die off." I suggested.

He nodded. "We are only doing this for your own good, Rose."

"Somehow I find that hard to realise." I said sarcastically. "What use would I be to you if I were to live all this time? Why do you really want me around?"

"You have a bit of an attitude, don't you?"

I glared at him.

I instantly disliked him.

He suddenly gasped, holding his chest. He looked like he was about to throw up a fur ball, but it was so obviously clear that he was having chest pains.

"Are you alright?" I asked when he started to calm down a bit.

"They're getting worse." He mumbled.

I walked up the stairs to where he was standing, offering some physical support.

He squinted and swayed.

"Maybe you should sit down…"

"No. No, I'm fine-"

He lashed out again, this time falling back onto me, gasping for air, clutching his chest. He pass out.

I was quick. I may be dead, but I wasn't completely useless. I did thirty chest pumps, and then squeezed his nose and leant his head back…

In horror, I breathed on my hand. No breath.

This man needed air, and I couldn't give him any.

I screamed out for help, but that was it for him. I felt for his pulse. It was so weak it almost wasn't there.

I only found out that his name was Larry M Warren after he passed away.

Father of Ralph Larry Warren.


	14. forgiveness or not

Rose POV

I hauled my sorry ass up to Lissa's room. I noticed suddenly that I hadn't seen much of Christian in the past….how long had it been now?

I didn't knock when I opened the door. She was expecting me, right?

I didn't make it a foot into the room before I was tackled. I instantly tensed up, making sure I wouldn't fall over as Lissa's silent tears stained my red shirt.

"I have…so…much to…" she blubbered. "I'm so sorry…"

She looked up at me, like she had missed something important.

"Am I missing something here?" she asked.

Lucky guess?

I sighed. "What do you want? You sounded like you wanted to tear me limb from limb and eat me before…"

She nodded. "But…don't you want to talk about it?"

"About what?"

She stared at me, accessing the situation. "Was it a lie…?"

I grabbed her shoulders and bent my knees so I was at her eye level and stared at her. "Lissa? What's going on?"

"Christian…he…I…you…."

I rolled my eyes. "Spit it out."

She bit her lip. "But-"

"Lissa!"

"Fine. Christian told me about the…that man you went to see…"

"yeah? And?"

"He said you were…that he died…and you were…"

"In the same room when he died?" I suggested. "Nothing different, Lissa. Trust me, being dead has flipped the whole concept for me."

She let out her breath that she had apparently been holding in. "Are you sure you're alright?"

I nodded. She let out a sigh of relief.

"Which leads to the frantic phone call….?" I suggested.

She nodded and thought for a second, before remembering what she was meant to, and screamed at the top of her lungs one word that stung me more than any stake, bullet, knife…whatever.

"Dimitri!"

I flinched. "What about him?"

She slapped me.

I clutched my cheek and stared at her with wide eyes. "What the hell?"

"You don' think everyone, especially him, feels sorry for everything you've lost? You don't think that everyone's trying their best to let you be happy? Yes they, we, are! But that doesn't mean you should go around like some emo kid and hate the world. Its so painstakingly obvious how much you love him, dead or alive. What the hell happened?"

"I died." I said sternly. "I was thrown out. Someone murdered me and no matter how much I pled otherwise, you brought me back. Lissa how the _hell_ could you have been so _stupid_ to bring someone back after dying for a month?

"And guess what happens now? Guess."

She was momentarily stunned. She looked…scared.

But I wouldn't put up with this anymore.

"GUESS!" I screamed at her.

A silent tear fell down her already stained face.

My voice came down into a whisper, but it was intense.

"You die. Christian dies. Adrian dies. Mom dies. Abe dies. Dimitri dies….everybody dies! EXCEPT ME! You will all leave me behind and…and…I've never been so scared Lissa!"

She drew in breath.

"Lissa. What happened back there…with Larry…he needed air…and I…" I swallowed. "I couldn't give him any."

She went to put a hand on my shoulder, but I flinched away.

"I don't know what there is for me after I'm destroyed. At least you have…theories. With me, you can know everything about it…but with half my soul missing, I'm a walking corpse. I'm weak and defenceless I…"

I was getting so worked up. Lissa just stood there, watching me, and by the look on her face, I could tell she was wanting to help, but was too scared.

What else could I do to her though? What else could I do to destroy everything I ever loved?

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I wasn't going to scare her, or hurt her…

I ran. I ran out of the room and across the court.

I needed to find a new place to hide, but the cemetery felt like home to me now.

But why the hell was I allowed within the wards? I was dead! Or was I stuck in the court forever?

I heard the crunching of shoes on the grass behind me after ten minutes of just sitting there. Someone knelt beside me, sitting on their feet with a small grunt.

I looked at Kirova as she pointed towards my grave.

I looked at it. "He never wanted to leave that place unless he was going to see…you." She said softly. "He fought tooth and nail to sit by your grave…he even offered to sleep out here with it."

"Why?" I asked her, shocked.

She looked at me with sympathetic eyes. "He resented it." She shrugged and looked back out towards my stone. "He truly hated everything about it."

"Then why did he stay?" I asked. "Why didn't he just go?"

She smiled sadly. "Where would he go? The only place in this whole court….this was the place he didn't sense you as much. Strange, I know, but it's hard to picture yourself crying over your own grave."

"There a million places in this court he could have gone…I only use a few places here…"

"I think he still wanted the…connection of you. He hated that his beloved would be buried underneath that soil, that that would be the last death date on your tombstone…But he accepted it. Sometimes I would visit him here and he would be sitting next to the stone saying 'I told her I would accept her, whatever she was' or something along those lines."

This was depressing. I didn't really want to know how tough that month was for Dimitri. I was supposed to be doing this for his own good. So he could marry Tasha and have children with her…

I seriously didn't want to think of that either.

"He did tell me that," I admitted. "But…no, that was different. He shouldn't have-"

"Would you have done any different?" she cut in.

"That's different." I argued.

"Sure it is." Kirova agreed sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that this is childish and pointless. Yes, things have changed, but you know things are more normal than they will ever be."

I sighed. I knew how childish this was when she put it that way, but seriously; I was only trying to protect him. Would he care that I was dead but not rotting away? I knew it wouldn't even faze him.

But could I ever regain his trust and forgiveness for out-casting him from my life? That was yet to be determined.

"He won't," I whispered. "I…he…no, even I wouldn't…"

"You'd be surprised." Kirova said, looking over her shoulder.

I looked over behind me, to see Dimitri standing there, a small smile placed on his emotionless face.

He had just heard everything we had just said.

**Hey!**

**Okay I know! I know and I am so sorry that it's been so long! Turns out my sister actually has pneumonia and may be admitted to hospital this week. I am so very sorry about everything and I would like to thank anyone who has stuck with me through everything.**

**Now I know this is getting confusing and people are BEGGING for her to find her soul again. I know what's going to happen but I want to know what you people are thinking. Hmm….if I get a good enough idea I might just use it….**

**How do you want her to find her soul again?**

**Thanks again! Think of some ideas so I can make it up to you also!**

**Lauren**


	15. mystery man and more forgiveness

"I wouldn't have….I mean…If I'd known you were there I'd…" I tried to explain to him, jumping up from the ground to face him head on.

But what was my best excuse? There was no good excuse. That was the whole point. He'd caught me talking about him, admitting what had never disappeared to begin with…

It wasn't good for him. It was healthy. I should have just left his life. I would have, had I not been stuck within the wards all this time.

"I know." He said smoothly, his eyes more lit up than usual, but not by much. "I heard."

"This doesn't change anything." I said. "I can't…I mean…It's not…"

He kissed me, his hands cupping my face, straining against his own pressure. He wanted to squish my face, but he knew how delicate I was now, even though I hated to admit it. His hand against the side of my jaw strained a centimetre from my face.

But my hands were free to roam, but I kept them strictly to the edge of his jaw. I drew him closer, not able to control myself, not being able to push away.

Any thoughts of him being 'healthy' disappeared in that very instant.

And the instant he pulled away, we were both breathing heavily, his hands stroking my face like he hadn't seen me in a lifetime, which was only possible for me.

"It's not possible," I breathed in a pant, totally forgetting Kirova. "You deserve,"

"I don't deserve you," he smiled. "And I am the luckiest man alive to have you. If you will have me, that is."

"But what happens…later on…"

"I don't care." He cuts in. "I don't care what happens later on. Roza…"

"You will," I told him. "You'll care, and when you do…."

He stroked my cheek. "I will never let anything happen to you."

He leaned in again, and it took every piece of sanity to pull away. It was subtle, and I hope I didn't offend him or make him unsure, but my mind was set, even though my heart was torn in the other direction.

"It can't be that easy, Dimitri." I told him, swiping a stray strand of hair from my face. "You can't….I mean…I can't just expect you to just be okay with everything."

"I love you, Roza," he whispered. "You're all I have ever wanted. We will get through everything…Just like we always have." He stroked my face softly. "I don't want anything to change, so long as I have you."

I kissed him then. With every muscle in my body straining, I kissed him. His lips were soft and warm while mine were cold and dead, but neither of us cared. He kissed me back, his arms winding around my waist and drawing me in closer.

Kirova had snuck away, I noticed from the corner of my thoughts.

He didn't want anything to change, but I would change, for him, I would be anything. I was determined to get my soul back. I needed it more than oxygen – well I didn't need that anymore. Food? No. Water? If you don't count out showering – I needed it more than…than my existence. If I couldn't find it again, I would…okay I'm giving up here.

But how the bloody hell was I meant to find a part of my soul? Had it not moved on already? Was there a mini Rose skipping around in the spirit world?

I sure hoped not. How embarrassing.

***INTERVAL***

As I walked through the court with my jacket collar pulled up, my face cowering in it as people took more of an interest in me than usual. It was stupid how I had to cover up myself as I walked while other people could wear mini shorts and tight shirts. I was hiding under multiple jackets and jeans, just so I wouldn't show any of my white tinted skin.

It's not fair. I needed a break, maybe a holiday I could spend in the sun, maybe get a tan.

"Hey that's," a voice came from behind me. Some guy talking to himself, or maybe on the phone.

I shook it off, but when a hand came down on my shoulder, I spun around, literally shaking him off. I wasn't as strong as I was when I was alive, but it was enough to make him stumble. I felt bad instantly, but I didn't apologize.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice smooth and charming. "Maybe it wasn't the best idea to sneak up on a guardian."

"You didn't sneak up on me." I retorted. "I just didn't bother to notice you."

"Whoa." He didn't say anything else, he just stared at me. I was seriously pissed off at him for that, no matter how unusual I was. Maybe some people would say 'it's only natural' but screw that I was sick of it.

"Take a picture, it'd last longer."

He looked into my eyes, realising how annoyed I was.

"I'm sorry. You're just really beautiful."

I was a little taken aback, but I kept my ground, ish.

"Err…thank you?"

He smiled, it hitting his eyes. He held out his hand. "I'm Derek Carlson."

I nodded and smiled, taking his hand with my gloved hand. "Rose Hathaway."

I could tell he felt the cold of my hand through the glove. It wasn't that thick, for fashion reasons.

"Oh I know. I've heard all about you."

I rolled my eyes. "Great. I'm a freak show."

He shook his head. "I don't believe you are. I actually know someone…a friend that I think you'd be interested in meeting. She's….old. She has knowledge about these kind of situations. Maybe you've heard of her. Actually, I think you have."

"Who is she?"

He hesitated. "I'm not sure you should know just yet…but she has crossed great bridges to come and meet you. It'd definitely be worth it for you."

I shrugged. "I suppose I could," I told him. "It's not like I'm running out of time any time soon."

He laughed softly. "No, I suppose you aren't."

"When will she come here?"

"Anytime you wish, but there's a slight problem…"

I raised an eyebrow. "Which is?"

"You must come to the other side of the ward. It is the only way you will be able to talk to her."

I was on the instant alert. "Is she a Strigoi? Is she dangerous? Who-"

"She's dead." He cut in.

Yep, I definitely had to meet her. But I couldn't go outside the wards, could I?

"Yes you can," he answered my thoughts. But you won't be allowed back in until you are…cured."

"I do not have any sort of disease." I told him sternly.

"Of course not. But you know what I mean."

"Would it be worth it?" I asked him.

He nodded. "Definitely."

"You have no doubts?"

He shook his head. "None at all."

Why the hell did I trust a complete stranger?

"What time? When?"

"Whenever you would like, although if you are keen on getting out of this…stage…I would do it sooner rather than later if I were you."

I told myself I would tell Dimitri.

I would tell Dimitri.

What the hell would he think?

***INTERVAL***

"And you have no idea who she is, but you want to give up your time in the court until you find a way to get your soul back, which you have no idea how to do." Dimitri clarified while I lay in his lap, flat toned. I pretended to be interested in reading some sort of magazine I found stuffed in with all my stuff that they kept. Dimitri had been reading over my shoulder till now.

"It's not one of the most bizarre things I've done before." I said. "And besides, you didn't see his face. He knew what he was talk about."

He squeezed his arms that were wrapped around my waist. "Are you sure about this? You do know what it means, when you get kicked out of the court. Their not going to take the wards down just so you can come back in, you know."

"It's the only way I know. This could be good for me. And if not, its not going to change anything, except I'm restricted to some places in the world, which aren't warded. Which is exactly like now."

"You shouldn't have to choose." He whispered in my ear.

I snuggled in closer to him, ditching the magazine. "But I do. I'm not ordinary, Dimitri. Even though sometimes I wish I was, and sometimes I can even imagine that I am. But I'm not, and you should've decided long ago whether you wanted someone normal or not."

"My love restrictions fall to whatever your in." he whispered.

I laughed. "Some of my categories don't even exist."

"Lets hope this girl does exist."

**Hey.**

**So mystery Derek! Ohh….does she exist? Who is she? I know, do you? Ohhh… hahaha!**

**I know the chapters are so short, but you guys are going to have to make a decision. Long chapters take a long time. Short chapters, not so much time. So do you want me to post chapters like this often, or ones two times this one once every….say….week or so? VOTE!**

**Lauren**


	16. HER

I did not like the trip to the front gate. In what was left of my mind, I said good bye to the things I really loved about this place, surprised it was just about everything. I would certainly not miss my new alarm, which hadn't been used yet, but then again, mostly all my alarms didn't make it through one full week.

But what surprised me the most, was what I would miss the most, if this didn't all work out.

The cemetery.

Even as I leaved in a whacked up attempt to become alive again, I would miss the dead. But would that mean I would miss _being_ dead? Hmm…

"Are you feeling okay?" Dimitri asked as we walked, hand in hand, towards the gate. It would have been so romantic, in a weird sort of way, you know, me walking to a possible gateway that I would not be allowed to come back through to meet a girl I didn't even know existed in an attempt to grow old…if Derek was also holding my hand, glancing out of the corner of his eye to make sure I was still there every few moments.

I tried to ignore him the best I could.

"I guess." I turned towards Derek. So much for ignoring him. "Are you sure she'll be there. This is a big risk…"

"I am positive. She promised…and besides it's been hundreds of years since she's come back to the in between world. She wouldn't skip an opportunity like this."

I stopped walking and stared at him. "You don't even know that she's _here_, do you?" I asked accusingly. "You're trying to trick me. You do realise that as soon as I step out of those gates, I'm shark bait, right? I don't have physical strength…any cut or wound is permanent. If I need stitches, I will need to resew them just to keep the wound closed."

"Then what happened to the one on your stomach?" he asked bitter sweetly. "I don't see big stitches holding it together. It's covered over."

I looked to my stomach. When did he see it?

"It's not covered over." I half admitted, quietly. "Lissa half…healed it when she tried to bring me back. It's like a scab now."

"That's one big ass scab."

It wasn't, really, but I was praying for an opportunity for him to get something wrong. This was it.

"Well, actually…" he mused.

He decided not to continue. That was nice of him.

The gate was closer than I would have thought now. A couple more steps and we were standing in front of it, waiting for it too open. I could tell Dimitri didn't want to let get of my hand, but he squeezed it tightly, kissed my cheek, and then went to go tell the guard to open the gates.

I could feel Derek standing closely behind me, looking straight out, determined almost.

"I don't know why I'm doing this." I whispered softly. "I don't know why I'm risking this…"

"Rose Hathaway could never turn away from information, no matter how little it is, no matter how big the cost." He said, stilled. He never looked away from that one point, whatever it was.

"Why do I trust you? Why do I trust that she's there? I don't know her…"

"On the contrary," he said, finally directing his eyesight towards me. "I believe you are quite…acquainted with her."

"Who is she?" I whispered, not looking back at him.

The gates started to squeak open, but stopped after a short time.

"History." He answered.

I breathed in, a sudden sweep flowing through me at that one word.

"Roza, they're not going to open the gates fully. Come on, we'll squeeze through there." Dimitri said softly, gently leading me through.

It was then that I screamed as something powerful knocked into me, making me collapse right into Dimitri's arms.

I could feel myself being lowered to the ground, a cool hand on my cheek, and lips seductively at me ear.

"Relax!" Derek shouted as Dimitri scrambled to revive me.

"She's…!"

"Okay," Derek finished for him. "She's okay. It's a shock to her system to go through a ward. She wasn't designed to go through them."

"Then why isn't she waking up?" Dimitri challenged.

Derek knelt beside me, and there was a bright light suddenly shining in one eye, and then the other, like at the doctors.

"She's taken hold of her. She'll be drowsy, but eventually she'll fall asleep."

"Who's got a hold of her?" he asked.

But I wasn't awake long enough to hear what he said.

I slipped into blackness. And that's where I woke up.

I really wish I would stop venturing inside my own head. It gave me a killer migraine when I woke up, like my muscles had been straining so hard to keep my eyeballs looking into the back of my head all the time I was asleep. It hurt!

A girl, older that me, definitely older than me, appeared in front of my eyes, about a football field away. This would normally not be so creepy all things considered, except she was looking right at me, her throat dripping with blood.

I was very hesitant. "err….Hello?"

In the blink of an eye, she got closer, and now she was half the distance of a football field away.

"Who are you?" I shouted. "Can you tell me where I am?"

Then she was right in front of my face. I felt such a sudden shock that I fell over backwards.

The woman tried to hold back her laughter.

"I am sorry for startling you."

"No your not," I grunted rudely as I pushed myself to my feet.

She smiled and held out her hand. "Rosemarie."

I took is slowly. "Girl-I-don't-know."

She laughed again. "oh you know me much more than I know you. Or at least, my story."

I eyed her neck. "I got a pretty good idea what happened."

Murder, I thought. Perhaps while she was lying in bed. A perverted freak came up and struck her, maybe.

"Suicide." She said bluntly. "I was so depressed…I took my own life in hopes I would see him again."

"Oh I've been there."

She tilted her head, examining me. "You seriously don't know me?"

I shrugged. "I've dealt with a lot of death in my existence."

She nodded sadly. "It has been a while since I walked the earth…I have seen death come from all corners."

"Right. Can you just tell me who you are already? Please?"

She smiled. "Yes, I have seen my fair share of death,"

"Oh lord," I plummeted to the ground, sitting crossed legged, resting my head in my hand. This was going to take a long time if she couldn't answer a direct question.

"But none was quite like when I lost Vladimir." She ignored me.

My eyes flew open and I stood up instant. "Anna." I said out of complete surprise. "You're Anna!"

"Finally, a spark. I have come to help you Rose. I have been assessing you and your beloved, and I do not want something to happen to you too that happened to me and Vladimir."

"Please, help me."

She smiled. "It will not be easy, Rose. You must have someone die for you, so you can harvest that missing piece of your soul from theirs. They will not survive.

"You see, when your Lissa saved you that first time, she was…oh how do I explain it…? Hmm….okay, imagine it like this. Lissa fixed a part of your soul, healed it, but it wasn't perfect. She left something of hers, something close to a magnet. It was imbedded in your soul. It would help her fix you up from the inside if necessary in the future.

"But when your soul was ripped from hers, she ripped what was hers back. It tore a huge hole in your soul, deeper than any wound you had ever gotten before, because it had absorbed through it. The bit that was broken shattered and you are what is left.

"But if you could find someone willing to give up that part of their soul for you, it is possible for Lissa to reattach it, and incidentally, you two would be bonded again."

It made sense. But I could never ask anyone to die just so I could shorten my life dramatically. That was way too much to ask, even from a best friend, or just a friend. Heck, even a random person off the street.

"How would she be able to reattach it? It's not physical…"

"Just lay your bodies together, and I will instruct Vasilisa how to do the rest. Its quite a difficult procedure."

"I can imagine."

She smiled. "You can call me up any time you wish, rose, for this, but I can not talk any longer."

"But-"

I wasn't there anymore. My eyelids were fluttering open to the trees and the green, nothing black.

Wow, I just talked to Anna. Didn't see that coming.

Neither Dimitri or Derek heard me wake. Instead, they sat with their backs to me, soaking in the trees and the fresh air.

"Where will you go now?" Derek asked.

"I don't know, to be honest. But I am quite sure that she will have some place in mind she would like to go. The whole world is her hotel…"

"I want to stay here." I said suddenly.

Both their heads turned lightening fast, and Dimitri was by my side in an instant.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

Dimitri's hands flustered over me, checking my pulse and skin colour and anything else he had access too at that moment. I doubted he knew what he was checking for.

"What did she tell you?" Derek asked.

Dimitri hesitated and looked at me, waiting for my answer.

I sat up further and pushed my hair out of my face.

"There's a way to save me." I told him gently. "But I don't like it."

I ran him through the process.

**HEYY!**

**Okay sorry I know its been a while and this isn't very long, but I've got the stupid cold and I have coughing fits every ten seconds. I can't sit down or lay down very long otherwise I'll have a coughing fit…Its hellish trying to sleep.**

**I know I have excuse after excuse but I truly am sorry! I gave you the answer for saving Rose, now I want to know your opinion.**

**WHO SHOULD DIE FOR HER?**

**I have an idea, and you guys will be so pissed at me, you'll probably hate me for life. But I want to know if anyone agrees with me.**

**Signing out!**

**Lauren XD**


	17. AN

NOTE!

Terrible news. My laptop has gone in for some repairs to the headphone jack, which has all my chapters on it, including the almost finished chapter. It could be anywhere from one day to three weeks until i get it back! I'm sorry! I'll post it ASAP but just note that!

Lauren


	18. His and Her cabin

I was surprised at the amount of people who would take the time to come outside the gates just to argue and bicker about who would sacrifice themselves for me, even though I had already made up my mind. I wasn't going to let someone just…kill themselves because I wanted a slight cut back on my life. Okay, not a slight cutback, but I wanted to be able to die!

I stuck to Dimitri like a leech, not allowing myself to get too pissed off with the noble people who were bickering, since they really did mean well for me. There were people here who I had never seen before, which shocked me. When a new person arrived at the gate, wondering what all the commotion was, he was fully informed instantly by one of the bystanders like myself and joined the bickering.

When I asked Dimitri who they were (the people who were bickering), he assured me they weren't death wished, but were friends of his. That made it even worse for me.

"I'm a dead man anyway. Dimitri and Rose deserve…"

"Rose is the best guardian we have, better than me. She's useless now…"

"I've lost my family, there's no reason…"

I had enough. I tried to block them out and let them tire themselves out, but it was useless. There had to be at least six of them, and I had that awful headache pushing on my eyes….

"QUIET!" I shouted, clutching my head delicately. I removed my hands to look at seven pairs of eyes. One more than I thought had been here, hiding. "Your arguing is useless. I won't allow this. You should just…just go home. There's no point."

They were all quiet. No one moved.

"GO!" I shouted. "I don't need this. Just…please."

Some nodded and started to disappear, along with the bystanders, back inside the gate. Some stuck around, stubbornly, to see what would happen next. They would wait a long time. I refused to let my fuse of any more than I already had.

I rested my head on Dimitri's chest as his arms wrapped around me.

"This is pointless." I muttered. If tears could come out of my eyes, they would have.

I was so depressed. To let myself hope that there could be a way to become whole again, only to have it squished under the reality of it. Someone would have to die, for me.

Not on.

There was a light tug on my trouser leg. I sighed and turned around, not expecting a young child, not a year over seven, tugging on my leg. She reminded me a lot of Sophia.

A log was punched into my stomach as I realised how much I missed Sophia and Simon. They would be in Russia right now, wondering what had happened to me after the attack…I'm sure Olena would have told them, but would they fully understand? I'd been declared dead, and then not, and then half dead…could a five year olds mind understand it?

"I think you're really pretty." The little girl smiled at me, still clutching my trouser leg.

I smiled at her, all my worries and my frustration disappearing. I looked to Dimitri for a moment, and then squatted down to be her height.

"Thank you." I smiled. "What's your name?"

She beamed. "Jessica Wright. My mummy is…there!"

I looked over to where she was pointing, a young woman around mid thirties.

"I don't see many children around here." I tell her.

"My mummy and I are visiting. I've never been here before."

I smiled back over at the mother of Jessica, and she smiled sympathetically back at me. I guess she'd heard about my situation. I was grateful that there were still some people who cared but didn't throw themselves into the firing line.

"Well maybe I'll have to show…"

I bit my tongue. No, I couldn't do that anymore. I was banished out here.

She was beaming as the idea grew inside her head. I didn't want to squish it, but I really had to.

"What I mean to say is that I should hook you up with my friend Princess Vasilisa." Princess to a young girl was like the latest fashion to a teen. Irresistible if it's free.

"A real life princess? MUMMY!"

She ran screaming to her mother, standing in surprise as she was attacked by her daughter. I laughed while Dimitri wrapped his arms around my waist and chuckled into my ear. "That was very kind of you."

"She'll enjoy it. And I'm sure Lissa will too. She loves kids."

"Speak of the devil…"

I put on my best 'I'm okay' face before turning to where Dimitri was looking. Lissa was standing there, ready to tackle me as soon as I stood out of Dimitri's embrace. I shrunk into him closer, making him chuckle softly.

The little girl squealed in delight when she saw me talking to Lissa and came rushing over to us, no matter how fast her mother tried to be stopping her.

"It's…It's…."

I smiled at Lissa. "I forgot to tell you. I sold you away to a little girl." I joked.

She narrowed her eyes with a smile on her face and went with the girl to her mother, being dragged by the hand. I watched her mother apologize to her.

"Are you feeling okay?" Dimitri asked, rubbing the outside of my arm.

I turned around in his arms so I was facing him. "Don't worry, I'm not going to have a whine and a moan." I joked. "Everyone is acting like this is something bad, or just a no big deal. But it's pretty conclusive really. I won't allow someone to die for me, so I'll just….deal."

He shook his head. "No. You will have a proper death like the rest of us, Rose. You deserve that."

"Not if it costs someone their life."

He rubbed my arms a little bit more firmly in comfort.

As the people started to return inside, I turned to Dimitri.

"You should go back inside. Make sure Lissa doesn't get into too much trouble."

He looked like I was insane. "I'm staying here with you, Roza. I'm not leaving."

"But-"

"No buts."

I groaned. "You're being ridiculous." I muttered, but I was secretly glad that he would not go home. I would not be out here alone. And it was Dimitri. That was a mega plus.

"And," he ignored me. "Your father contacted me. After I told him about our situation, he invited us to stay at a place he owns, about two hours away."

I couldn't tell if I was surprised or not. I mean, it wasn't the first time he'd do something good for me, but then again, he wasn't the most loving father in all the land.

"Ten minute…walk?"

He shook his head. "No, car." He said. "Not far at all."

I grimaced. "Wonderful."

He hugged my side. "It'll be okay, Roza. We'll be okay."

I sighed. "You know we won't, right?"

He didn't seem to agree or disagree, but he didn't say anything.

***INTERVAL***

As expected, Abe wasn't home, since this was only a house he owned, not one he actually lived in.

The place was more like a cabin or a cottage than a house, made out of long perfectly round logs. Along the side fence was layer upon layer of quartered wooded stacked on top of each other. There was a small tin shed around the side of the house, praying to god that it wasn't an out house.

We walked through the front gates, my arms folded across my chest and Dimitri's shoved in his pockets. I was still very much on edge from the whole Anna thing. I had to reminded Dimitri that I didn't feel the cold when he offered me his jacket, thinking that I was crossing my arms for warmth.

I was holding myself together.

The thick, green, leafy forest around us put me on edge. I wasn't used to anything like this.

"I can't believe Abe owns this place." I told Dimitri truthfully. It wasn't flashy, and it didn't look like he was hiding anything here. Actually, it looked like it had been built, just for us.

"Lets see how long you last," Dimitri smiled. "No luxuries."

"My luxuries were taken away as soon as I entered the academy."

Dimitri let in a flash of a smile. "Alright then."

It was late afternoon now, and the sun was threatening to collapse behind the trees.

"You might want to take a shower before the sun goes down." Dimitri smiled, walking through the front door, obviously pleased with the whole situation. I then remembered that he had wanted a place like this all along.

"Why?" I asked.

Dimitri disappeared into what I suspected with the bathroom and handed me a towel.

"Because the river gets even colder then." He smiled, chucking me the towel.

I was certain that wasn't the bathroom.

"River?"

He led me out the back of the house, past the shed, to stand on a small sloped edge that showed the rest of the mountain looking downwards. A calm river ran along the base line of the mountain we had been plonked on.

"You mean…I have to…" I said this more to myself than Dimitri, then turned to him. "You've got to be kidding me."

"No luxuries, remember?"

He was a little too smug about this whole situation.

"Hot water isn't a luxury, it's a necessity!"

He looked at his watch. "Every second its getting colder and colder…"

I shivered at the thought.

I clutched my towel as I walked down to the river, about a five minute walk, to test it out. There was hole clearly visible in the river's bottom, about five foot deep.

I didn't take off my clothes, I knew that if I was going to show Dimitri I could do this, then I couldn't chicken out, which I'd certainly do if I took those precious few seconds.

I threw myself into the water.

The cold water numbed my mind and my fingers fought to keep moving. My head was spinning and my throat closed up. Everything about the water was wrong.

I pulled my head out of the water, screaming a big 'Woo!' as my way of pain tolerance. I had heard once that swearing increased pain tolerance, but that might not have sound so good echoing through the mountains.

I was completely rinsed off so I pulled myself out of the water, getting even colder as wind rushed around me.

Dimitri had walked down to me with a spare set of clothes and another towel, thank fully.

"No luxuries," I panted. "right."

Dimitri smiled. "You'll have plenty of time to get used to them."

The idea both annoyed me and warmed my shivering heart.

**Hey!**

**Guess who got her laptop back? ME! Woo!**

**Hope you like the chapter!**

**Lauren**


	19. I know you

So guess what I had figured out? I could feel some of the cold. Yeah, i thought i couldn't either, even tried to stick my hand in the freezer once, didn't feel a thing. It was only when i got back up to the house that i realised what i had felt for the first time in ages. Just not long enough for me to not forget how horrible being completely frozen was.

This was one of those off things that really sucked. When i wanted to feel a little cool, nada. When i was extrememly anxious about getting hypothermia, which i didn't, thankfully, my fingers froze off.

"This sucks," i grumbled to Dimitri as we sat inside next to the warm fire that had taken him minutes to start, and half an hour to get to a nice and warm stage for me. He was sweating, but he told me over and over again that he didn't mind the heat.

"Like a sauner" he'd said.

Rubbish.

But even though i couldn't feel the heat, i could feel the feeling returning to my fingers, my hair swooshing on my shoulders, clean and dry. I think i was getting used to this whole 'undead' thing, but everything was changing. Things that i thought i would never be able to do again, was returning slowly. Maybe i was getting used to the lack of touch. I didn't know.

All i knew was that i was going to enjoy it up here on this mountain with Dimitri, even though we didn't have indoor plumbing.

Snuggled up in Dimitri's arms was all i needed at this very moment. I was the happiest person in the world.

I closed my eyes for a while, letting everything sink in. I hadn't really had time to just relax and let the world go free since i was forced out of the Court, and it felt good to just reflect and accept.

Until Dimitri started snoring.

I chuckled a little, but when i realised that all this stress i carried, he probably carried too, i felt bad. I had never heard him snore before. He must be just as stressed...

I should leave. I should just...just jump into the river and never come up. But i couldn't let him go, and it was purely selfish that i was still here. I loved him more than anything in the world, and i was causing him to be away from the place he loved the most...I was a terrible person.

I escaped his arms carefully and pulled him up onto the bed properly, throwing a light blanket over him since the fire was starting to go down, almost a big block of coals. I kissed his cheek and stroked his hair, letting my hands move slowly through his rusty, rough hair. It was so dried out.

I threw on Dimitri's leather duster before i went outside, only feeling a slight tingle of cool on my hands where i was unprotected. It was a hope spark that maybe things would go back to normal, but i really doubted it. I was dead. I hadn't been able to save that man. I hadn't been allowed back into the Court. Anna had told me so...There was no denying it.

Damn this awful world.

I sat on the wet, condensation filled grass, starring out into the night.

I couldn't live like this. I just couldn't. What was i meant to do for the rest of eternity without Dimitri? I would stay eighteen forever, and he would grow older and older each day. My worst nightmare. I couldn't even fight without being damaged so much that i wouldn't be any use anyway. Lissa would grow up to be a fine woman, probably marry Christian by the way things were going. She would die, and Christian would die, and Adrian would die, and Dimitri would die...

And i would still be here.

I couldn't do that.

I heard a crunch on the ground behind me before i saw Dimtri. He didn't look cold under his sweater, but i felt bad for taking his jacket. I went to shrug it off, but Dimitri extended his hand, a gesture that i should keep it on, and sat down next to me.

"Do you wish you had never seen Anna? That we were back in the court right now?"

I nodded. "It didn't make a difference. I hate this, Dimitri, so much. But i won't let someone die for me. Someone with family, and friends, and a life..."

"I know you, Roza, and i know that you like to keep your options open, no matter what they are. You're glad you saw her, but you just don't like the result." he said in a smooth voice, his voice smothered in his accent.

"I wish i knew myself that much." i chuckled lightly.

He rubbed my arm gently. "We'll figure something out, Roza. I promise."

I shook my head. "Don't promise me anything." i told him. "You can't keep any promises. It's going to happen. I'm just going to stay and your going to get bored and old and die and..."

I stopped myself before i would go into hysteria.

He shook his head. "Rose, if there is no other way, i will die and be reborn again, just like you."

"NO!" i shouted, it echoing through the mountains. I swore at myself internally. "I won't let you." i told him in a whisper. "You don't want this."

"I want you." he said simply.

I forced myself not to smile.

"You won't become undead Dimitri. That, i can promise."

**Sorry it's short, like, really short, but i'm on my main computer and i don't really like writing on here but i can't be stuffed getting my laptop out...so make do. Next chapter will be out soon, hopefully.**

**Lauren**


	20. What you say?

How many times have I said that I could just lie on the bed next to the fire with Dimitri in this small cabin without my mind wondering anywhere than to him? Like how I know that right at this minute, he is looking down to his bare chest where my head rests, running his fingers through my hair until it is so smooth that he just strokes it. Like how I know that at any minute, he will sigh, leaving his fingers half way through running through my hair, and kiss my head before relaxing again and taking on his original routine.

I wished that we didn't have any worries or burdens… Oh how I wished…

It was two weeks of luxury with Dimitri, mixed in with a little competition from him to me with the whole 'you'll-never-last-here', before we heard anything from anyone outside of the woods.

It was the weirdest thing when we heard a knock on the front door. I looked up at Dimitri with a confused frown. Apparently, he didn't have a clue either.

Who would drive all the way up a mountain too see us? It couldn't be Lissa, Christian or Adrian since they were running the court, or in Christian's case, being moral support for his girlfriend who was running the Court. Mia? No… She wouldn't…

Who the heck was at the door?

"What's wrong, love?" Dimitri asked as he stroked my cheek.

"The door…" I said. It was quite obvious.

"What about the door?" he asked.

I frowned. "You didn't hear…?"

"Hear what?"

There was another knock.

"That!" I exploded, I little bit loud. "Someone's knocking at the door!"

I removed myself from his arms and made my way out of the bedroom, down the short hall, and too the front door. Dimitri hovered in the bedroom doorway, looking at me like I was a little insane, which I guess I was, but I know I didn't imagine that knock.

I opened the door, to stare into air.

Dimitri walked down to me slowly. "Are you feeling alright?" he asked, concerned. He placed a hand on my shoulder and rubbed a circle with his thumb.

"I swear I heard a knock." I told him, rubbing my temples and pushing my hair out of my face, which was coming out of my loose, failed, ponytail.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "I'm sure of it."

He wrapped his arms around my waist. "Maybe you should call Lissa." He suggested. "It's not easy being this isolated."

I smiled and turned in his arms. "Oh you'd like that, wouldn't you?" I joked. "Me showing a weak sign? I can last here."

He smiled, letting my arms wrap around his neck. "Are you sure?" he asked lightly, tightening his hold on me and spinning me in a circle. "Are you so sure?"

I ran my hands swiftly down his bare chest before slapping it softly twice and stepping out of his embrace. "I really don't have a choice."

I walked out and back to the bedroom. What more was there to do but sit and watch the fire in a cabin with miles and miles of trees around it? Other than cutting down trees for fun…for firewood.

"If you think about it, you could go anywhere, do anything," he said from out in the hall. "What exactly are you expecting to accomplish here? What are you hiding from?"

I frowned at his tone and walked swiftly to the doorway to look at him.

"What do you mean?"

He looked at me, but said nothing.

"What do you mean I'm hiding?" I asked.

He sighed. "Roza…What's the point in being here if you're so caught up in misery about your…condition…and doing nothing about it?"

What was he getting at?

"And I'm not allowed to take a break from fixing my life again and again?"

He walked towards me slowly. "Of course you can."

"Then what are you saying?" I asked, strangely hurt by this. Of course I fight with Dimitri, but it never really lasts long, and it's over silly little things. But not once had I felt this hurt by what he has said.

"I…" he stumbled, which alone in itself is odd.

I sighed, irritated. "Well, now that you've voiced your opinion on what I'm doing wrong…I'm going for a walk."

"Roza…" he tried to reach for me as I slipped past him, but made no more attempts to stop me. He knew me well enough not to push me too far.

I needed to clear my head. Out of character, I decided. That's what that was. Probably nothing series…Maybe he was the one cracking under the isolation of being in the outdoors…

The thought made me smile.

Though that smile didn't last wrong.

I sat down and breathed in deep, enjoying the mountain air…

The shrubs around me were still, apart from one bush. I looked at it inquisitively, wondering what could be shaking it so subtly but so noticeable.

A flicker of the light was what it seemed like, but something definitely moved from that shrub to behind a thick, large tree.

I stood up slowly, not taking my eyes off that tree. But it was useless. I found there were two of them when I felt the rush of the wind on my neck, three when my toes grew numb…four when I thought about how fast my heart would be beating right now…

There were many of them.

"What do you want?" I shouted, hoping Dimitri might just hear me from up inside the house, though I doubted he would. "Who are you?"

A giggle came from a shaking bush, a childish, girly laugh. I spun towards it, and then slowly, slowly, I walked towards it.

"Who are you?" I shouted.

A girl, she couldn't be any older than seven, walked out from behind the bush, wearing pink pyjamas. At first, I thought she might have been lost out here, and made my way more quickly towards her before I broke out in a run…but the closer I got, the more I realised her soft features. Pale white skin, red underlined eyes, bruised looking eyes…

Strigoi. Strigoi child.

"Wha… It can't be." I stuttered, looking at the child.

Her pyjamas. She must have been stolen from her parents…But why would the strigoi bother with her? She was just a child!

My head quickly snapped around when four children, boys this time, all wearing something resembling sleep wear, stood behind me, smirks on their faces.

"A hiker?" the girl asked in her squeaky, high pitched voice.

Instantly, my instincts kicked in, instincts I never knew I had. "Yes." I answered. "Who are you? Are you lost?"

The boys muttered something happily behind me, and I knew that this was what they had been doing since they had first become Strigoi. Hunting hikers.

"Would you like some help?" I asked innocently. "Where are you parents?"

Only I was praying that adult Strigoi wouldn't come out of the bushes…but they didn't.

The girl smirked. "Dead."

Faster than the eye could catch, I had two boys holding either of my arms, making me crouch in an awkward way that made my back hurt.

"DIMITRI!"

I was nothing against them. I wasn't strong enough, and I didn't exactly have the correct tools for the job. "DIMITRI! HELP!"

He'd be down any second…

"Kill her now! Kill her now!" the girl shrieked as my head was pushed to one side, leaving my neck exposed.

I felt a searing pain as two sets of fangs buried themselves in my neck…

Before I fell to the muddy ground, not really comprehending anything going on around me. I was lifted off the ground and taken somewhere uphill…

Oh if only I could pass out. Pain….

I didn't know how much time had passed; only that it had. I only started to become aware of Dimitri touching the wounds on my neck when he had used a little bit of alcohol to help clear the wound. It stung, but I kept a straight face as he worked.

"I'm sorry." He said, looking through my poker face.

When he brought out a needle and string, I sighed. "What's the point? It won't heal."

"We can't leave your wound open, Rose."

I snatched the needle from him. "Well then I'd better do it. I'll be doing it the rest of my existence."

He took it back. "You won't. I'll always be there. I'll do it."

"Not always." I mumbled.

"Yes always." He argued, sticking the needle in my arm, making me tense up.

"No. It's not going to happen, Dimitri."

He didn't say anything. He would win this argument if he tried, but we both knew that. He was being the mature one by not arguing.

"Children." I said suddenly. "I didn't even think…Why would they want _children_?"

He shrugged.

"Does that not bother you in the slightest?" I asked.

"Of course it bothers me, Roza," he said, pulling another thread through my neck. "But what are we going to do? It's the war between Moroi and Strigoi, just that the Strigoi have some new, well, maybe they're not so new, but they're just different warriors."

"And who are our different warriors?" I asked, instantly knowing the answer when I spoke the question. He raised an eyebrow. "Us. Guardians."

He nodded.

"But we aren't so new. Until half a year ago we were the only ones fighting."

"You." He said. "What you discovered with the silver stakes…that's ours. They wouldn't have a clue that that was even possible."

"Not that they've put it to any use at all." I grumbled.

"They're trying their hardest."

"Right, of course."

He rubbed my shoulder as best he could as he pulled the last stitch through my flesh.

"Did you kill them? The children?"

He didn't say anything. He placed a dressing on my wound, kissed my forehead, and left.


End file.
